Broccoli Enthusiast T-Shirts

'So, Bjorn, I hear you've gone vegan!'

"Something's wrong with the broccoli. Please take it back to the kitchen and have it genetically modified."

"I mind my mother, eat my broccoli and do my homework, but you won't tell the guys, will you?"

Polar opposites.

'I love broccoli, but not enough to eat it.'

"Broccoli isn't hab-bad if you hab a code."

'The dietician told him to increase his roughage!'

"We're odd looking but just as good."

"I'm rooting for the carrots."

'All those vegetables Mom's been feeding me finally paid off. I'm a squash.'

'We found you in a cabbage!'

'We've only got a couple of days to finish this box of cereal. Mom'll never let us eat something called energy-packed after school's out.'

'Bless this food we are about to receive, all except the broccoli. Bless the apple pie twice.'

'Is your cabbage diet working darling?'

Pea

Power breakfast.

"I have an idea. How about I don't have to eat broccoli until I learn how to spell it."

Vegetarian Birthdays.

'Snap, crackle, help! I'm lactose intolerant!'

Gullib-Os

'Needs more kale.'

It was then that Cervantes was inspired.

"How come portion control doesn't apply to broccoli?"

'I'm not sure how you managed to burn a bowl of cereal.'

"It's magically delicious...especially when you sprinkle...Halloween candy on it!"

Vegetarian Restaurant: Choose Your Own Cabbage

'Not here, Fred.'

Today: Tomato Surprise. Of course the tomato surprise doesn't impress you, sir … You’re not a tomato.

"We upped the protein by simply factoring in the permissible level of insect parts."

F&E Produce. I had interesting customers today. First, a beautician checked out the purple potatoes and yellow beets. Ah, a hair stylist inspected the colored roots! That card shark bought some fruit. Two pears, I'll bet! A journalist was searching for an onion alternative. He needs leeks! And labor negotiators requested to increase their usual vegetable order. They asked for a celery hike, eh? I think the customers are the best part of this job. Yeah, you never know who will turnip!

Cheeky boy and putting 'leeks' sign on toilet.

'It's every SNOW flake that's different, Billy - Not every CORN flake.'

'It's the natural cereal you requested. No additives. No preservatives. No artificial color.'

You mixed your DNA with that of a carrot? I've created a giant loud-mouthed left-leaning vegetable. Some would say that's redundant. Very funny. It's worse that that. The carrot doesn't share just my politics … You smell beautiful, like ranch dressing on a spring day. I do like a tall vegetable.

Untold Love Stories "Beauty and the Beets". We think you would be more beautiful if you dyed your hair a purplish red.