British Weather Satirist Pillows

UK snow warning.

Captain steering house through flood.

Just because I'm adapted to the cold, doesn't mean I like it!

'I don't get it. They told me to serve merlot at room temperature.'

"An iceberg the size of Connecticut broke off from Antarctica? How do the taxes compare?"

'I love it when it's sunny at festivals. It makes the mud so much warmer.'

'I swear it wasn't this cold before they invented the wind chill factor.'

Eskimo Breaking Wind

"Shrinkage /ˈSHriNGkij/ noun: 1. the contraction of an object when cooled, 2. the 'Naked Cowboy' in Times Square on a really cold day."

How You Know It's Spring...

'I'd take that with a pinch of salt if I thought the council could spare any.'

'I am wearing my bikini!'

Global Forecasting Institute

"How did you find the weather on your holiday?"

'Say, Fred...'

"If global warming is real, then why are winters so cold?"

"I guess the weather forecast was right."

"You think we like these extra playoff rounds?"

"It's an ice scraper. I sweat a lot."

The robins are back, look!

"It's the hottest since records began."

"We've got water views again."

Summer Solstice Stonehenge

Met Office "It's a tornado watch"

'No, not abominable. The normal kind.'

'His lungs were fine. He died of hypothermia from all those fag-breaks outside.'

Naked man walking in the rain under an umbrella.

"It must be a lot colder than I thought."

Man Sledging on his car

"Hot enough for you?"

The Honesty Channel's Weather Forecast

"Some cruise! It rained for the entire trip!"

"We've gone green. We use solar power to ignite the coal we burn."

Boris Johnson reshuffles his cabinet minsters