Britain Weather Humorist Pillows

'I love it when it's sunny at festivals. It makes the mud so much warmer.'

"The Englishman goes to the beach once a year to shed his skin."

Captain steering house through flood.

'Oh dear, what a shame - It's raining again, Pam!'

"OK then, I admit it. Installing the log burner was a bad idea!"

'I don't get it. They told me to serve merlot at room temperature.'

Dr B orge tests his new cow-fart ozone depletion meter.

Weather today.

"You'll have to have it neat, sir. We're running out of ice."

"Is it safe to come out yet?"

'I swear it wasn't this cold before they invented the wind chill factor.'

'And this is where we attempt to forecast the true size of the spending cuts!'

'This should shake things up -- I've just found conclusive evidence that global warming is caused by whales!'

"Now we know what happens when we overachieve the climate goals."

"Shrinkage /ˈSHriNGkij/ noun: 1. the contraction of an object when cooled, 2. the 'Naked Cowboy' in Times Square on a really cold day."

Eskimo Breaking Wind

How You Know It's Spring...

'Unusual weather for June'

To Antarctica

'I'd take that with a pinch of salt if I thought the council could spare any.'

"I guess the weather forecast was right."

"Are you sure? Hot sex is a leading cause of global warming??"

"If global warming is real, then why are winters so cold?"

Global Forecasting Institute

'We're polluting our ozone. Our icecaps are getting bigger, the oceans are shrinking....All because of our addiction to oxygen!'

'If you think that's silly, wait till you hear how they pick the Secretary of Defense.'

"How did you find the weather on your holiday?"

"Actually it started quite harmlessly... internal combustion engines were the first thing the EU banned..."

"You think we like these extra playoff rounds?"

"It's an ice scraper. I sweat a lot."

'Say, Fred...'

'Rats, the weather forecast is bad for the whole week: Hot and sunny...'

"I told you not to get central heating."

"Promise me that you won't use this to buy anything that will increase carbon dioxide in the atmosphere."

'They describe the end of the ice age as the Big Brownout. They lost more than 10,000 tonnes of mammoth steaks.'