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'-Not THE Queen Vic?'

"Lassie, go get help!" "Oh Timmy you idiot! Not again!"

Benedict Cumberbatch

"Don't get strung out by the way I look, don't judge a book by its cover."

"What's wrong, boy? Is Timmy stuck in the well? Are zombies at your doggy door? A fire? Squirrels are holding your bone hostage? My Spotify stock just tanked?..." "He thinks he's real funny."

"I wrote this next song about my cat. It's called 'Please stop rubbing your face against my computer screen when I'm trying to watch Narcos.'"

"I really miss being in a committed relationship, Randy." "Which part do you miss most?" "Having someone disagree with you over what you're going to eat, or over what TV shows you're going to watch? Or do you miss having to account for how you spend your time? Or having to explain why you bought yourself something awesome without first getting permission?" "Mostly I miss the back rubs. They don't ask you to wash the dishes first at massage parlors."

'There's nothing on.'

Time Machine Collision

TV-Man

'It's midnight, do you know where your brain is?'

"Do you know any other songs besides the theme to The Andy Griffin Show?"

"Here's something called "The Fifty Greatest Countdown Shows Ever!""

'They're just like us, except they watch more television.'

"Now we move over to the sports desk."

TV jester.

Adam and Eve on a Talk Show

'Bloody streakers - they have a lot to learn.'

"At some point, there's only so high you can raise the volume before you admit you're never gonna understand what British detectives are saying."

"Downton Abbey Road"

What are you in the mood to get confused watching tonight?

'Sue didn't watch soap operas all the time. She also reads books'

"The end of my favorite series is near."

"Sorry, my report is blank. I just stayed home, watched tv and played video games during vacation."

'Straight eye for the queer guy.'

'When I grow up I want to join the SWAT team!'

'Now that's Real TV!'