British Television Aficionados Pillows

"Yes, I can confirm that Jeremy Clarkson HAS been suspended by the BBC!"

"Downton Abbey Road"

'-Not THE Queen Vic?'

"Can't we have 'PRESS BUTTON' to shut up the commentator's gobbledegook."

"BBC One’s Casualty has reached its 1000th episode. The long-running hospital drama is apparently very popular with viewers... But even more popular among jobbing actors."

"We subscribe to five streaming services so why are we never able to see the hot new show everybody is raving about?"

"Grandma's TV is so old it wasn't made in a foreign country."

'Madge! Desperate Housewives is on.'

"Yes, Madame, Teletubbies."

"You don't understand, Mom. Our staying in and watching TV is not the same as you and Dad staying home and watching TV in Dayton, Ohio."

"I know I say it in every episode, Carson, but the world is changing and we have to change with it."

I don't think we should have linked the remote to the credit card.

John Laurie

''Masterpiece Theater' will not be seen tonight, so that we may bring you 'Slushpile Showplace'....'

'I think someone's asking to go out.'

Filmed in Supermarionation

June Brown

"I know I say it in every episode, Carson, but the world is changing and we have to change with it."

Gogglebollox.

Stephen Fry

'It creeps me out when he watches the History Channel and takes notes!'

It's well done, but I find it hard to stay interested since they cut down to just 13 episodes per season.

'Santa has been and he's taken our telly...'

Police Box

'BBC Antics Roadshow'.

Universe Challenge

'Morcambe and Wise.'

Barbara Windsor

"Why do mothers and fathers only get one day and sharks get a week?"

The walking dead

Martin Clunes.

"Who's this then? Melvyn Bragg!"

Richard Hammond.

'Dad was fibbing, Mum... the new TV DOES show stuff beside sport!'

'We need a new TV, Dad — it's stupid watching 'Reading Rainbow' in black and white.'