Bride Pillows

Tradition v. Reality: 'My client agrees to 'love', but needs clarification on 'honor', and 'obey' is a deal-breaker...'

I know it seems a bit misplaced, but it does pay all the wedding expenses !'

The reception was held outdoors, next to an ATM, for the convenience of any guest who forgot to bring a gift.

'Darling, how romantic...a pre-nup.'

"Whew! At last, I can eat!"

A Successful Wedding Party Returns From the Hunt

'And when she says jump, do you promise to ask how high?'

"Your best man hasn't shown up either. Probably just a coincidence."

'Bob will be along shortly to marry you. He's looking over a mint-condition, 1965 Mustang that just went on sale.'

"If anyone thinks the bride could do better, speak now or..."

'Okay, so you were right; maybe figuring 13 bottles of wine per person was a little too much.'

'Well yes, I suppose it is a multiple-choice question'

'He Will!'

'It will never last...!'

"...for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death or litigation do you part?"

It Starts: "That's what you're wearing?"

Visual Gag: An about to be married Bride using a real train as a wedding gown train

'Good job I haven't got to worry about my figure anymore.'

"Do you, Joan, promise to love, cherish and make sure Josh takes his cholesterol lowering medication each day?"

'Either you do or you don't - there isn't any 'cooling-off' period!'

"What's your dad waiting for-a receipt?"

"Now, according to this agreement, his problems will be your problems, and your problems will be your problems."

Single girl in wedding dress trying to catch a bachelor.

Did somebody say Hen?

'I was driving to my wedding when my GPS recalculated and so did I.'

Wedding Selfie

"He thinks we're going to see a football match."

'And do you, James, believe you deserved that beating Annie gave you for inviting your ex-girlfriend to the wedding.'

'I do - allowing for a 50 margin of error...'

Bride with a ventriloquist's dummy.

'The groom called to say he'll have to marry you next weekend instead. He totally forgot he had tickets to the basketball game this weekend.'

'Smile and say: tofu-based dairy substitute.'

'It was her father's last wish. He said I could marry her over his dead body.'

"Actually, it's customary to say 'I do' to the groom, rather than text it."

'...till death, or a really huge argument over ringtones, do you part.'