Bride-to-be Wit Pillows

"I hope my next husband looks better in a tux than you do."

'Wait a minute - How do we break a tie?'

'He said he wasn't good enough for me, so I married him because he's the first man to realize that.'

'Who has the rings and prenup?'

"We'll be single again in Heaven, right?"

"Hold on—I'm getting information as to why these two should not be wed."

'You've been faking it, haven't you?'

"I warned you not to buy your top hat and tails from that ex magician!"

"Are we sexually compatible? Well, we both get headaches at the same time..."

'She didn't marry him for his looks or personality - she needed his debts for a tax write-off!'

'Was it good for you?' 'I haven't finished yet!'

Groom decoration on wedding cake makes good his escape.

When Female Leopards Marry.

Spark Notes Wedding Vows

'Today the market corrected itself AND Leonard.'

'And do you,take Kevin to be your lawful wedded husband for three years or 50,000 miles?'

'Do you, Tenured, take this, Untenured, through sickness and health, to have and to hold from this day forward?'

'What's the matter, baby? . . . Marry him anyway. Between the two of us, we'll show him how wrong he is.'

'Surprised she's getting married again. In lieu of wedding gifts, she's asking for donations to help retain a divorce lawyer.'

'Debbie, does this mean it's over between you and I?'

'Stand up straight!'

Pachelbel at weddings

What's the matter, baby? Henry says he's an atheist, Mum. He doesn't believe in hell. Marry him anyway. Between the two of us, we'll show him how wrong he is.

"Until the weapons of mass destruction are found."

Just married.

"I always cry at weddings because I'm philosophically opposed to the institution of marriage."

'I'm going to have to take a day off - to get married!'

"... Till death us do part."

'It's bad enough losing to a takeover bid, but when it's your wife who takes over....'

"Okay, so I faked it...you happy now?"

'...I now pronounce you man and wife -- the ball's in your court.'

Bride grabbing groom's tailcoat.

'I'm on my way!'

'I got us a stretch smart car...Neat, huh!?'

No, Ernie, it's not an omnious start to a marriage when a bride chooses to "take" her husband's name --- He can still continue to use it.