Bride-to-be Wit Pillows

'Wait a minute - How do we break a tie?'

'He said he wasn't good enough for me, so I married him because he's the first man to realize that.'

'Who has the rings and prenup?'

"We'll be single again in Heaven, right?"

"Hold on—I'm getting information as to why these two should not be wed."

'You've been faking it, haven't you?'

"I warned you not to buy your top hat and tails from that ex magician!"

"Are we sexually compatible? Well, we both get headaches at the same time..."

When Female Leopards Marry.

'She didn't marry him for his looks or personality - she needed his debts for a tax write-off!'

'Was it good for you?' 'I haven't finished yet!'

Groom decoration on wedding cake makes good his escape.

'Today the market corrected itself AND Leonard.'

Spark Notes Wedding Vows

'And do you,take Kevin to be your lawful wedded husband for three years or 50,000 miles?'

'Do you, Tenured, take this, Untenured, through sickness and health, to have and to hold from this day forward?'

Pachelbel at weddings

"Until the weapons of mass destruction are found."

What's the matter, baby? Henry says he's an atheist, Mum. He doesn't believe in hell. Marry him anyway. Between the two of us, we'll show him how wrong he is.

'What's the matter, baby? . . . Marry him anyway. Between the two of us, we'll show him how wrong he is.'

'Stand up straight!'

'Debbie, does this mean it's over between you and I?'

'Surprised she's getting married again. In lieu of wedding gifts, she's asking for donations to help retain a divorce lawyer.'

Just married.

'...I now pronounce you man and wife -- the ball's in your court.'

"I always cry at weddings because I'm philosophically opposed to the institution of marriage."

'It's bad enough losing to a takeover bid, but when it's your wife who takes over....'

'I'm going to have to take a day off - to get married!'

"Okay, so I faked it...you happy now?"

Bride grabbing groom's tailcoat.

"... Till death us do part."

'I'm on my way!'

'Hi! I'm Pastor Bancroft and I'll be tying the knot this evening.'