Bridal Consultant T-Shirts

'You look lovely, but we need to lengthen your train a bit...'

"Look! I'm going to be a customer!"

'You look lovely, but we need to lengthen your train a bit...'

Life Store Guide: Make-up and jewellery

"Have you tried carbon dating?"

'This facial cream is called 'High Definition'...it brings out beauty in sharp, wonderful detail.'

'I'm going to have to cut it - Daddy is complaining about the shampoo bill again.'

"Take your time. Do you see the person who made you wear that dress?"

"Botox."

"We're having a make up test at school. Can I borrow your mascara?"

"I don'y know who did her, but when she laughs the wrinkles go in very weird directions."

"Here they come: Detox and Botox."

"It's too late for a nose job and too early for a face-lift."

"Oh my gosh — so sorry! Those were extensions!"

"More concealer?"

"You can't quit my bridal fashion business. It says so in the prenup, I man the non-compete agreement!"

Saleswoman holds mirror up to the backside of the bride's dress

'I assure you madam, that the uglification factor of this mirror is no greater than the nationally accepted one-to-one standard.'

'As pizza maker, maybe a skin care products site isn't the best idea for an affiliate site.'

'A large Swiss Pharmaceuticals company has expressed serious interest in my potion.'

"Yes, I do need an answer right now."

'We're the same age, but you look great! What's your secret?'

No wonder she's a blushing Bride"

Hello, Mr. and Mrs. Sebum! I think you'll love this property on the left side of the chin. It's a wonderful place to start a pimple."

"It isn't fair! Why aren't thin lips fashionable?"

'Nothing to give him an excuse to say I smell like a cemetery'

Our manicure special today is 'Text Message Tips.' I contour your nails so you can hit all those tiny little keys!

"The perfume is only £20, the antidote is £250!"

'If you want to get anywhere with girls, you gotta PRETEND to like bunnies, ponies, and kittens.'

"One day, I'll have teeth like pearls...skin like silk...and a mind like a steel trap!"

"So,what's so important that you want me to give you a couple of hours off work this afternoon?"

'I'll be glad to discuss Pal's itchy skin in my office tomorrow morning, Mrs. Allan!'

'I should have listened to my mother. . . when she said you were immature.'

"I don't believe you can't get close to anyone, Mr Jones. Get back over your own side."

Bridal, Tuxedo and Speedy Annulment.