Bridal Consultant T-Shirts

'You look lovely, but we need to lengthen your train a bit...'

"Look! I'm going to be a customer!"

'You look lovely, but we need to lengthen your train a bit...'

Life Store Guide: Make-up and jewellery

'I'm going to have to cut it - Daddy is complaining about the shampoo bill again.'

'This facial cream is called 'High Definition'...it brings out beauty in sharp, wonderful detail.'

"Have you tried carbon dating?"

"Take your time. Do you see the person who made you wear that dress?"

"Botox."

"We're having a make up test at school. Can I borrow your mascara?"

"Here they come: Detox and Botox."

'As pizza maker, maybe a skin care products site isn't the best idea for an affiliate site.'

"You can't quit my bridal fashion business. It says so in the prenup, I man the non-compete agreement!"

'I assure you madam, that the uglification factor of this mirror is no greater than the nationally accepted one-to-one standard.'

"More concealer?"

"Oh my gosh — so sorry! Those were extensions!"

"It's too late for a nose job and too early for a face-lift."

"I don'y know who did her, but when she laughs the wrinkles go in very weird directions."

Saleswoman holds mirror up to the backside of the bride's dress

'A large Swiss Pharmaceuticals company has expressed serious interest in my potion.'

"Yes, I do need an answer right now."

'We're the same age, but you look great! What's your secret?'

No wonder she's a blushing Bride"

'Nothing to give him an excuse to say I smell like a cemetery'

"It isn't fair! Why aren't thin lips fashionable?"

Hello, Mr. and Mrs. Sebum! I think you'll love this property on the left side of the chin. It's a wonderful place to start a pimple."

"One day, I'll have teeth like pearls...skin like silk...and a mind like a steel trap!"

"The perfume is only £20, the antidote is £250!"

'If you want to get anywhere with girls, you gotta PRETEND to like bunnies, ponies, and kittens.'

Our manicure special today is 'Text Message Tips.' I contour your nails so you can hit all those tiny little keys!

"So,what's so important that you want me to give you a couple of hours off work this afternoon?"

'I should have listened to my mother. . . when she said you were immature.'

"I don't believe you can't get close to anyone, Mr Jones. Get back over your own side."

'I'll be glad to discuss Pal's itchy skin in my office tomorrow morning, Mrs. Allan!'

Bridal, Tuxedo and Speedy Annulment.