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Sunblock - A Novel

Accelerated reading. Slowpoke reading,

'You're going to have your future cut out for you, reading bedtime stories.'

Boy and Bear and Monster

"His exercise wheel has lost all its fascination sinces he started reading Hemingway."

This is the new Director's Cut version of Hansel and Gretel...with additional scenes and three alternative endings!!!

'It's baseball season!'

"Life after death"

"And the Hungriest Black Hole there ever was ate everything in the entire universe and lived happily ever after."

"What you find 'boring' spies from all over the world would find extremely interesting."

"Looking cool in a car takes practice."

Pre-nuptal Agreement.

"And thirteen innocent logs perished in that fire they used to burn Joan."

"I'm enhancing my appreciation for the knowledge gathered by humankind."

"Did the cow that jumped over the moon have NASA funding?"

"My wife, my best friend and our prenup!"

"How can back to back be your favourite position?"

"It says here we should get a lodger."

Stopping Time in order to Finish Book

A shark is reading a book entitled 'Swimming with the lawyers'.

Book Igloo

'Just a minute, officer. I found a loophole in this law book!'

"Good evening, Charles - windy out, is it?"

'I like reading romance novels: They always leave me with a warm feeling inside...'

'Was it good for you?' 'I haven't finished yet!'

'I don't have time to read a book a month, what about a pamphlet club?'

The Invention of Reading in Bed.

"It's a terrible hiccup you got there. . . let me help you.. I made a dent in the car today!"

'I'm a vestal virgin.'

"How's your beer coming, Eddie?"

'Certainly not, Philip! And calling me Babe will get you nowhere!'

Pregnancy.

Fifty Shades of Yellow

'An owl and a pussycat? -- Is that even legal?'

Sleeping man uses his beard as a book mark.