Breakup Coach T-Shirts

'But why, Brenda?! Why can't it work out?!'

"What's that? I asked for a teal lichen. That's a brown thread. Are you trying to upset me?"

"I don't love you. That's it in a nutshell."

'When he said it would be 'me and him against the world' I had no idea everyone was already mad at him.'

"I may be obsessive and I may be compulsive, but no way am I obsessive compulsive."

"The next dance will be ladies' choice."

'...Do you, Thomas, take Charleen as your wife, to love and cherish, for better of worse...use Rehab as may be needed...for as long as you both shall live?'

'Lost that loving feeling. If found, call 555-1234.'

"Take that mammoth back. It's not 'wooly' enough."

'You wanted to go on a romantic outing. You're on a romantic outing.'

'Your switching to Scotch? And after I've given you the best beers of my life!'

'What is that? Is that sarcasm?'

"It's not you-it's me."

"I like an attentive lover, but these feedback forms are ridiculous."

'You used to make love to me like a Flying Scotsman, now you're more like a Puffing Billy!'

The breakup

"Hey, Honey, our life cycle is too short to play hard to get."

"Arouse Me!"

'Is it possible to turn him back into a frog?'

"I'm leaving you, Steven....It's all there in my text message."

"I feel I'm losing touch with the unrealistic view I have of him."

'I'll never forget you, Vince -- My therapist says it would be counterproductive to try.'

"I might remind you, John, that 'Lorraine never stops yakking' is not yet grounds for divorce in the state of Ohio."

"Don't wait too long for Mr. Right or you'll end up with Mr. What's left!"

A man sews broken hearts back together.

"Why don't we compromise... you admit I'm right and I'll agree with you."

The band was really swinging, providing a nice cover for Andrew and Carolyn's argument.

'Sorry Bruce, but we have to stop seeing each other: I've changed, you have to understand...'

'Yeah, but this time she just said no -- there wasn't any hysterical laughter!'

'I'm sorry but I need my own space.'

Tough Love Birds

"I'm sorry, but it's just not going to work out between us. We're contraindicated."