Breakroom Champion Pillows

"Get some paddles, stat!"

"I go that extra mile!"

'Right about here I added a drip coffee maker, with high caffeine premium blend coffee, to the employee break room.'

"All this namby pamby nonsense about stress...I've been stressed for YEARS and it's never done ME any harm... " "But you're only 25!"

Real coffee vs usual vending machine stuff

"Ack! This stuff's hard to eat!"

'Do you want toast with that?'

"You're close, but you're not the record. The record for one family in one booth—all from out of state, each ordering a complete breakfast—was set in 1978, with fifteen."

Cut out and keep your own Chef

'Mom! Instant oatmeal is NOT fast food!'

'It's one of those trendy 'warm salads,' with sausage, fried eggs, bacon and black pudding.'

Sugar Crunchies - Free Dental Treatment.

'I wanted shorter hours, so he cut my breaks.'

'This makes things very messy. He's claiming he programmed the lunchroom toaster to do muffins.'

"No monsters under this bed! After I cleaned there's no room."

"Dunhomin"

Devilled Eggs

"Nice landing, Captain Crunch."

'I was going to text you an apology for medical negligence ... but my phone is in there.'

"You confused the Sudso box with the Cruncho box."

Sports Lawyers

'I believe you were first.'

'Shredded wheat cereal, cracked wheat toast, and crushed pineapple. I didn't do it. It came that way.'

'That's why it's called a full English breakfast.'

'Hey, milk!'

Have you seen this toaster?

Yeahhhh, I've goofed-off at the fax machine, laser printer, copier, but I'm a traditionist. Nothing beats the watercooler!

"Honey, the toaster is down, but it's already alerted the oven to pre-heat and broil your muffins."

Parkour Breakfast

"Well, make up your mind! Does it suck or is it cool?"

Lawyer's in and out boxes say pro bono & anti bono.

'Madge, did we really need a home computer to make scrambled eggs?'

Photocoffier: a fresh cup of joe while you wait on copies.

'I went for a walk this morning...' - 'I ran 20 miles... uphill.' - '...and I had bran flakes for breakfast.' - 'Yeah, well I ate 19 sausages, 3 melons, and a horse.' - 'I'm going for a pee.' - 'I swear I could flood this place!!'