Breakroom Champion Pillows

"Get some paddles, stat!"

"I go that extra mile!"

'Right about here I added a drip coffee maker, with high caffeine premium blend coffee, to the employee break room.'

"All this namby pamby nonsense about stress...I've been stressed for YEARS and it's never done ME any harm... " "But you're only 25!"

'Mom! Instant oatmeal is NOT fast food!'

"Ack! This stuff's hard to eat!"

"Whoa! One last doughnut left."

Cut out and keep your own Chef

"You're close, but you're not the record. The record for one family in one booth—all from out of state, each ordering a complete breakfast—was set in 1978, with fifteen."

'Do you want toast with that?'

Real coffee vs usual vending machine stuff

'It's one of those trendy 'warm salads,' with sausage, fried eggs, bacon and black pudding.'

Sugar Crunchies - Free Dental Treatment.

'I wanted shorter hours, so he cut my breaks.'

"No monsters under this bed! After I cleaned there's no room."

"Dunhomin"

'This makes things very messy. He's claiming he programmed the lunchroom toaster to do muffins.'

Devilled Eggs

"Nice landing, Captain Crunch."

'I was going to text you an apology for medical negligence ... but my phone is in there.'

Chef Contest. Ernie, it's not sporting to chant "batter, batter, batter" during a pancake cook-off.

Sports Lawyers

'I believe you were first.'

"You confused the Sudso box with the Cruncho box."

'Shredded wheat cereal, cracked wheat toast, and crushed pineapple. I didn't do it. It came that way.'

'Hey, milk!'

Yeahhhh, I've goofed-off at the fax machine, laser printer, copier, but I'm a traditionist. Nothing beats the watercooler!

Have you seen this toaster?

Parkour Breakfast

"Honey, the toaster is down, but it's already alerted the oven to pre-heat and broil your muffins."

'That's why it's called a full English breakfast.'

"Well, make up your mind! Does it suck or is it cool?"

Lawyer's in and out boxes say pro bono & anti bono.

'Madge, did we really need a home computer to make scrambled eggs?'

Photocoffier: a fresh cup of joe while you wait on copies.