Breakfast Satire Lovers Mugs

Menu From The Luxury Home of Pancakes

"This is a merit-based organization! Can't you see I’ve hired the very best and most qualified yes-men money can buy?"

Hollywood Sign Developers

"We need to make some cuts. We'll start with integrity, accountability, openness, and transparency."

"Everyone at Megadrug is committed to the benefits of spoken therapies, which is why we developed 'nitrazone' to enhance the experience."

Life is for the birds.

"Like I could date a guy from Notre Dame."

'The good news is I had a very good year.'

U of Debt

"See..? We told you there was nothing there..."

The Quack Quack Diaries: Quack Quack Writes A Novel

"Just give me your wallet. Trust me, you do not want to deal with my misplaced sense of entitlement."

Cord cutter

Next gen pregnancy tests.

"The little engine that could... after taking advantage of family connections, a trust fund, working two years for free as an intern, and finally getting hired as an independent contractor."

"She wishes to range free!"

"What's wrong with swallowing up other companies?"

So I guess the moral of Hansel and Gretel is always carry your cell phone!

'We interrupt this programme for a sex flash.'

Joe's 'Take Responsibility For Your Own Actions' Bar.

"It's good to know she was butchered for a noble cause."

'Due to government surveillance, is my allowance taxable?'

"Where we lack in productivity is made up by extremely low employee turnover."

"She's a miniature."

'It's a boy. He's healthy and coming along fine, but he may be a little crnkt at birth owing to his claustrophobia. He will have feminine tendencies but is not actually gay. In fact, he'll eventually develop a taste for hard liquor and trashy women...'

"C'mon people! All for me and me for me!"

'Does it bother anyone else that our entire business is based on one questionable product?'

"...our Annual Report has been criticised for lack of clarity - well done!"

"Remember, education pays, unless you end up an adjunct - like me."

Slices of bread rescuing burnt toast.

'And she's got to have implants out to here.'

"Your taxes,pension and health deductions have exceeded your wages - here's your bill."

Police film evidence

Limerick On A Grecian Urn

'Take us to your crash test facilities. We're here to liberate our compatriots!'