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Analysts have said the US and Russia are closer to nuclear war than ever. The outcome of the election tomorrow will probably determine whether we live in mediocrity … or whether we suffer a nuclear apocalypse in which a crafty café owner, who's squirreled away scones and ammunition in a vast network of underground bunkers, could rise to become feudal warlord of a brand new world. So ... who are you voting for again? The person I've been preparing ever since 2nd grade to vote for.
Man in a Chain Gang has a Peg Leg.
"For me it's all about the craft of acting."
"Brian's fine. He`s got his own coping mechanism."
Maybe there's something to this global warming after all.
Minority Report
'I didn't think of it as someone else writing my term paper, I thought of it more as a guest blogger situation.'
What do you say we team up to star in a sequel to "The Elephant Man" called "The Wolverine Boy"? !
"Maybe our beloved founder is trying to tell us something."
David Niven caricature
The Vicar 's Invitation to Dinner.
'No, you weren't there. But in your expert opinion as a certified brainiac, do you think he did it?'
'So, ten thousand pounds could be yours if you call in and answer this question...Why the hell aren't you in bed?!'
"I was forced into early retirement. Is that even legal?"
National Liberty and Tax Codes.
"I always wondered who got my transplant."
"Right! It's a heart op, neurosurgery and counselling. And I'll have the Wiz"
"I can check again, but Mr. Saunders usually insists on the full wait."
'I wonder if you'd go out with me. I've always wanted to go to couples therapy.'
A Failiure to Communicate
"Are you sure? It doesn't look like a diet pill!"
A guy who learned everything he needed to know in Kindergarten.
"Our battle with Covid-19 has been a triumph."
"You have to get up early tomorrow, too? We have so much in common!"
'We've got to stop him watching Robert Peston.'
'Sorry I can't pay your pension until I see gray hair. . . Oh yes, and you also get disability.'
The Ultimate Reality TV Show: Apathy Island
A Toxic-Waste-Think-Tank With Toxic-Thoughts.
"Thank you all for attending this first conference of the surveillance camera recording industry."
'Just so you know, leaning on a rake and looking at the sky is not 'yard work', and thus may not be entered into your 'I do so help around the house' defense.'
"Thank you for coming in on your day off, minion. It reflects well on your character." "I thought my job depended on it." "I don't know how you got that impression. I would never force you to come in on your day off. That would be illegal." "You said 'Come in on your day off. Your job depends on it.'" "Rudy, Rudy, Rudy... That's just a figure of speech." "You went on to say 'I mean it. That's not just a figure of speech.'" "That was a figure of speech too."
"Okay, so the current occupants are being tormented by supernatural forces, but they do agree to pay closing costs."
'I'm all talked out. Let's look into some gene therapy.'
'I'm afraid we only publish A list celebrity cookbooks.'
'We rape, pillage and kill. THAT'S our corporate mission statement.'
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