Breakfast Conversationalist T-Shirts

How Life Changes In A Paperless Society.

"Sometime Fred, I don't think you listen to a word I say."

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

"I don'y know about you guys, but I don't feel like I've lost one goddamn bit of my feminity."

'I want a big breakfast.. there are a lot of contended female cats in the neighborhood this morning.'

"Hi Mike, how's the Leprosy research going?"

"When you say you love your life, should I be happy for you?"

"I think he should cut a deal and invite Paula Jones to join NATO."

Chick in noodle soup.

'We were made for each other...we hate the same TV shows.'

'It's going to be harder to get back than you think. We're now part of a subculture of a counter culture.'

'This corn's got dandruff.'

"Is this the wobbly table? I'll put my screenplay under this leg."

"Paved in gold? Oh my, no. With out crumbling infrastructure we're doing well if the streets are paved at all."

"I broke it off with him when I realized his love of quinoa was but a sham."

"We're still negotiating. I want a six-figure starting salary and they don't want to hire me."

'I didn't get the settlement I was hoping for...turns out I'd already spent most of his money while we were married.'

The market must be up

"Come on now. It's not that bad. We never even had Paris."

"I remember when you could order a cup of coffee in two or three words."

"I've had a few days to calm down and process things and I've come to the realization that I was wrong to have had faith in humanity."

Instant human... just add coffee

"I thought I was a writer, but it turned out to be a chemical imbalance."

'One slice of toast and a bottle of ketchup, please.'

"I was going to wake you up with oral sex this morning, but you looked like you could use the extra sleep."

'A simple 'I like mine hard boiled' would have done!'

"Why is it sooo difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and good-looking. . . ?"

"The longer it takes him to recite the specials, the guiltier I feel for not ordering one."

"The Sculleys, the Jensons, the Walkers, Freedy, Joan, Don and the Bowes. Oh, well, Madame de Stael had to start somewhere."