Break-up Survivor T-Shirts

"Poor guy..he just got a 'Dear John' fax!"

Bob knew it was over when she stopped returning his calls. Still, the card was a nice touch.

"Recently separated."

"I want you to leave and take your headlong slide into oblivion with you."

"I packed all your stuff."

Jake's Tattoos...we specialize in tattoos over tattoos...before and after.

'I'll never forget you, Vince -- My therapist says it would be counterproductive to try.'

'Man's best friend. Hah!'

I'm breaking up with Jeremy. He's a high maintenance guy whose service warranty has just expired.

Speed Dating for Turtles

"...until death do you a favor."

Pony express. Pony express yourself. Pony express yourself so much he left.

'When he said it would be 'me and him against the world' I had no idea everyone was already mad at him.'

"Have you tried barking at the moon?"

"Can you recommend a wine that would compliment a divorce?"

',,,But if I do eat them I'll lose my child support, Oh, Alice,divorce is so hard,'

"I got over DDT, and I'll get over you!"

"Don't wait too long for Mr. Right or you'll end up with Mr. What's left!"

A man sews broken hearts back together.

Ereptile Dysfunction

'Yeah, but this time she just said no -- there wasn't any hysterical laughter!'

"It's over between us, Kevin, I've met a most wonderful cod!"

"Oh no! You, again?"

'I see. So what you're saying is that you woke up this morning and your woman had done left you.'

"Being married to her was the most miserable experience of my life, but I was able to develop a sitcom out of it."

Mr. Chester's diplomacy

'These anti-depressants aren't for swallowing, sir, they're for throwing at your ex-wife.'

'What are you doing trying to tempt me?? I told you I was through with you!!'

A woman buries her broken heart

Your Dinner Is In The Trout Stream

'Well, if you really want to know...you will meet a short, pale and ugly man...'

"Nothing - he's ghosting you."

'When I said we should see other people, I didn't mean starting tonight.'

"Honestly, I'm not sure I even know who every one of you are anymore."

"On a personal note, my wife, Ann, and I have agreed to separate, as I've fallen in love with the sound of my own voice."