Brand Warrior T-Shirts

"I'm afraid pretty much every esoteric company name is taken so we're left with 'Mugwump', 'Grungydink' or 'Buh'."

'Why, he's referring to us as 'Brand X'!'

'I'll be late for dinner, dear, I'm up to my neck in paperwork.'

Doug had trouble getting home at a decent hour.

"Well, it looks like the merger is off."

"Thank you for that summation of the charts."

Office slaves.

"My salary app pings when another new male exec at my level is making more than 77% of what I make."

'...we have every new employee spend time on our assembly line. Eight hours, no breaks.'

Stresses Can Have a Motivating Effect...If They Don't Kill You!

"The boss is charging. I knew you shouldn't have worn that red tie."

'Something tells me this is going to be a long meeting.'

'Coffee must wear you out. They're always sleepy when they drink it.'

"Sir, the staff are all assembled for your pep talk."

'I'm telling ya, it's a jungle out there.'

"I may be incompetent. But, if you fire me there'll be no one who knows less about this company than you."

"What's on my schedule today, Fred?"

Creative entrepreneur at work

Responsibility and duties

High Noon at the O.K. Staff Meeting

'I feel confident about our presentation. If there is any blowback, don't worry. We're both wearing our flak jackets under our suits.'

"I think your idea of stress relief is drastic!"

Thanks to therapy, Bob no longer felt like a nobody. He felt like an anybody.

'We got you a bigger desk. With all the work we'll be dumping on you, you'll be needing it.'

"I believe he was the victim of a hostile takeover."

"Finally, a succinct corporate mission statement."

'Let me guess - you lost a fight against a young challenger who has now replaced you as the company's alpha male!'

Executive puts on brave face for board meeting.

Stress

"I've spent all night diluting our negative reviews on Yelp." "Really?" "Yeah. You know how you can usually tell when a business owner does that?" "They post 'reviews' that don't have even a hint of negativity." "Amateurs. Check out the negatives I include: 'House of Java Cafe. I hate it because it's so perfect, it makes the rest of my day feel inadequate.'"

Meeting not going well?"

"He's plotting losses."

Sad boss: "This one pretty much sums it up."