Brand Manager T-Shirts

'Hey! We've never tried a 'pity' strategy before...'

'So, Bob, we've decided to do some rebranding!'

"What's important is that we learn from what we must never admit happened."

'It's a rare generic defect. To put it bluntly, you have no brand loyalty.'

'Yes, it IS a powerful message....but we're selling dental floss.'

"It's very nice, Sir... But is it consistent with the voice of our brand?"

"You'll fins some mints on the pillow, polishing our brand."

'Yes, I strongly believe in the concept of corporate identity. Why do you ask'?

'I've got an idea. Why don't we just tack on the word 'natural' to our pesticide sprays?'

'We're rebranding to make it harder to sue us.'

"Until we get reaction to the campaign, I want you to pretend it's your idea."

'We have what might be a very good idea...'

"We're going to spend £5M to put over the message that our product is so good it sells itself!"

'What kind of residuals did you get on the endorsement deal?'

'We need to target the rich and stupid.'

'We have a P-O-P display for our new perfume. Can we move the beef jerky down a smidge?'

Chemoco International

"Which swoosh best describes our corporate philosophy?"

"What we are looking for is some exciting advertising about our product."

"Before we decide that TV is dead, can someone tell what digital marketing is?"

Cartoon product placement.

'With 5% spent on talent, 5% on production, and 90% on marketing...I smell WINNER!'

Direct Marketing...

'Perhaps it's time we re-branded.'

Mountain Tops Incorporated

"I know: what if we take that old 'got milk' slogan, but instead of using the word 'milk,' we'll insert the name of our own product."

'Advertising Agency' 'Out of focus group'

Artisanal Everything, Inc,

"Thanks Jeffries, but I think we'll pass on relaunching the company as a musical"

"It lost a little something in translation."

I'm thinking about changing the name.

'I want a campaign that will fol some of the people some of the time and all of the people all of the time.'

'But you know I don't have brand loyalty for anyone but you!'

'Why, yes, we could use a Youth Market consultant.'

'I've never read such stupid twaddle in all my life, I like it'