Brand Conglomerate Observer Gifts

"You know, maybe he's not the small-business man he claims to be."

'I wouldn't say this wine's name is long, but it's continued on the bottle next to it.'

'AT&T? I'm letting you go. I'm down-sizing too!'

'Pssst! Straighten up, here come the bigwigs.'

"To address this mistake we must be professional and use root-cause analysis. I'll start by saying it's not my fault...."

St. Elmo's fired.

"I'll put your application on file, Mr. Brandt, but I'm quite happy with my current paperweight."

'Comments? Thoughts? Anyone?'

'I like people.. but not a whole lot.'

"To make things more democratic, I've decided to introduce a round-table policy."

"...in other news: Google has been admitted to the United Stations..."

'Another nice thing about working here, they tend to promote from within.'

"They grow up so fast."

'It's either the worst idea to attract new clients I've ever seen, or the best...'

'Mr. Donovan, is it all right if I tie my shoelace?'

"This bedtime story is brought to you by your good friends at the toy shop."

Pizza Special: 5 Pizzas for $50 (Limit 4).

'It's amazing! I'm a magician! I can make a weekly wage disappear in four hours!'

"I've been wondering if there isn't some way we could capitalize on the cat craze."

'In five year's time?... I see myself on that side of the desk telling you it's a great shame, thanks for all your hard work, but I'm going to have to let you go!'

'Rabner is tops in customer retention.'

Thanks, I'd like to accept the job, but what is the salary? Sorry, it's against company policy to disclose that!

Board of directors of a baby products company suck their thumbs after realising sales and profits are down.

Making The World A Better Place for Giant Multinational Corporations

'Nothing has come to my attention today and I want to know why.'

"Can you smell that, Jacobs? That’s the smell of me about to offer you a retirement package."

"This company isn't big enough for two anthropomorphic dogs."

'For those of you who don't wish to know the results of our executives pay...turn away now.'

(The Road To Mandalay-off) (This pink slip came up like thunder out of China, cross the bay…..)

"Before you ask for a raise, I need you to be aware I've got a map of your brain on my mobile."

'There's a conglomerate of malcontents here to see you, sir.'

"So what kind of mood is he in?"

"The big money doesn't seem to be in Pretzels anymore."

'Fortunately, ideas like these don't come along everyday.'

'Does that include our hidden agendas when they asked everyone to re-prioritize?'