Brainiac Chuckler Gifts

'Say, did you know that we actually only use a very small portion of our brain?'

Typical Brain Versus Einstein's Brain

'I don't care if he does have an I.Q. of 169. I still think he's faking.'

'No, you weren't there. But in your expert opinion as a certified brainiac, do you think he did it?'

'He hasn't responded to training - he still insists on taking Alec to his slippers....'

'I make certain all my clients are pessimists...they don't expect to win.'

I'm sorry, but your drug screen results disqualify you as an employment candidate, You see, sample 'A' is a normal brain, sample 'B' is a normal brain on drugs, and sample 'C',,, Well, Mr, Dumpty, sample 'C' is your brain,

"So you're saying if I wasn't so smart, I'd have more friends?"

"Here's the problem. Your computer isn't obsolete, you are."

'Every new neurosurgery intern has to make the joke about the patient having an 'open mind' but then they get over it.'

'The part of your brain you used to diagnose what is wrong with you is what is wrong with you.'

'He's our Spam expert!'

'I won't be at school anymore, my head is full.'

Psychology: Registering for this class is a No-Brainer

His sister wanted to try some keyhole brain surgey.

STRIP Hambone: Computer health analysis

"Carl had the mouth of a truck driver... Sorry, Carl, I just can't make no sense from all those words comin’ out your pie hole. A truck driver with a Ph.D. in mathematical logic."

'Now, just for laughs, let's give him the dog brain and see what happens.'

"You have a very long fault line. That's why your hands are trembling."

"Gwen, call the employment agency back, please, we just created our first 3-D employee!"

"Let's combine forces and use your brain to help me get my car!"

'We're thinking of settling down here -- do you folks have bilingual education?'

New! Cell-U-Lite Tellaphone: 'Hmmm! There's something wrong here!'

'Alimony is like having to pay instalments on a car after you have written it off!'

"There's only one of them roaming around now. The others are in self-isolation."

'The tests indicate your worries are groundless and your complaints moronic.'

"I got a perfect score on this online I.Q. test."

"No thanks. Me Vegan!"

'Yes, Dear, I know fish is brain food, but maybe you should cut down a little!'

Thinking With Your Butt.

'I'm fed up with this hosepipe ban... I mean, it's not like we really need one.'

'You've got yellow fever, so we're painting the room to match your body.'

"The resilience of the human spirit can be truly inspiring."

Patient Entrance, Neurology Department.