Brain Training Gifts

Woman says, 'How did your memory improvement class go last night?' Man answers, 'I completely forgot about it!'

"'Brain training' has done wonders for my memory!"

Memory School - Mnemonics - 'You simply associate each number with a word, such as 'table' and 3,4,76,029.'

'We got lucky. We could have ended up with cosmetics testing!'

'But, somehow, sudoku baffles me.'

Memory Clinic - Old What's His Name, Director.

From tab A to tab B.

"I use my mind to constantly calculate and recalculate the number of grudges I'm holding with the hope that this will help ward off Alzheimer's."

Brain Training

"You think you can? Think again, mister. You know you can. Got that?"

"Just another 50 decibels on your grunt and we can start to think about letting you hit a few balls!"

'Maybe we should have gone for a pommel horse.'

The Department of Blind-Side Bias, Knowledge Gaps and Really Great Coffee.

"Why won't you teach us how to handle complaints?"

Brian was very proud of his dog.

Overjumpers

"There's really not much to obedience school. Just listen up and do what they say."

'Not that sort of body building program!'

'Believe me, I know transformation isn't easy. I pulled a muscle once.'

"The desktop skills test was a little worrying,56% couldn't manage 'Word' 75% were confused by 'Excel' and 43% wanted to know what channel 'Eastenders' was on."

'One of the new targets is targeting which targets we're meant to target.'

'As it's your first day we're going to start you on something easy.'

'Fetching is a good thing...but there can be TOO MUCH of a good thing.'

Man practising karate is tempted by a glass of beer.

X-ray Psychology.

"Shake! Good Dog."

"Empty again? What's going on around here anyway?"

Race track - with the race being to apply the white lines between lanes

"They're friendly, but they're also carnivorous, so remember that when you're called on to beg and roll over."

Dog tricks. 'He's doing it right now. Dudley dreams in Technocolor!'

"O.K. you're ready to go on to the less embarrassing weights."

Clever visual metaphor used to personify the abstract concept of thought and memory.

"Good news...I found a doctor who says you can still play!"

"Look. They say sit, you sit. They say roll over, you roll over. Where's the prob?"

"The anger management consultant said he wasn't going to alter his **** dates at this t****stage which fits in with the 'managing change' consultant who said it was to late to change her plans..."