Brain Size Ponderer Pillows

The walnut has a brain the size of a dinosaur's.

'Doctor, I don't want to eat mouseburgers, I want to be normal like everybody else.'

World Production.

"We've misjudged the tapas again."

“Today we are going to be learning percentages.”

"Why does this curious plant of his always make me feel gigantic?"

'I'm 60-40 in favor of the 60.'

"I advised a patient to take responsibilty for his own actions, and now he is suing me!"

"When will I be old enough to have an inner child?"

The Male Atom: Sex, Sport, War and Good Intentions.

The Problem with World Population Growth

"The trouble is, professor, you see the Erlenmeyer flask half empty and I see it half full."

Max Weber

'Euro's down against the pound, dollars up against yen, pound is... what the hell don't expect cheap meals in France!'

'It's all due to the birthrate falling drastically...'

"I've been studying reverse psychology at Tonga Tech Online University."

Objects in mirror bear no relation to reality.

"... and come out fighting, boys."

Telling Self to Buzz Off

Population train.

That's no big deal, a lot of people get Siskel and Ebert mixed up

'Please don't read anything into the fact that I'm wearing loafers. I assure you I'm a very energetic worker.'

'I didn't choose art. Art chose me!'

Caption Contest TK

Yeah, I woke up as a roach because I was so full of existential dread – Why did you wake up as a dung beetle?

What brings you to therapy, Rudy? Dr. Noodle. I've been feeling like my whole life is on pause. And I can't find the remote to unpause it. Meanwhile, everyone else's stories are proceeding apace. They're all into the second act already. They've all had plot twists, and hero's journeys, and epic love scenes, and thrilling reversals of fortune ... Meanwhile, I'm still paused on the opening credits because no remote. Why don't you get up off the couch and unpause it manually? You can do that?

I see

'Well, that brings us up to my third birthday...'

"I don't know why I'm here - I don't need a haircut."

Aging population in Cuba

Optimist, Pessimist, Surrealist.

'I've discovered that smart doesn't make you popular: Cool does...'

'It's not just his insane jealousy - he also insists on choosing all my clothes.'

"Do I have to declare this as income to the IRS?"

"Would you look at the carrot on that guy!"