Brain Function Explorers Gifts

"Why can't I get anything done unless I'm totally stressed out about it?" "Is it possible to be relaxed and still be productive?" "What is wrong with my brain?" "Why don't you work better?"

"It's just one monkey at one typewriter, but we've given him an infinite need for validation."

'I see you in five years from now, you're still coming to see me. Do you want me to book the appointments in advance?'

'I may not know about DNA, but I sure as hell know about recombinant.'

"I'm studying the effects of prolonged radiation exposure on a panzerotti."

'I beleive I have a new approach to psychotherapy, but, like everything else, the FDA tells me it first has to be tested on mice.'

'I'm growing mini human brains from stem cells.'

A Padlock and a Pet Key.

Science fair judge sees flower pot broken on floor near sign saying 'gravity'.

I've realized something: It's likely that there's only one way for mankind to reach the stars in our lifetimes. Do tell. Scientists believe we'll be able to upload our minds in just 30 years. That means NASA could upload everyone's mind to a robot, and launch it into space. We wouldn't need life support. We wouldn't be affected by radiation or anything. We could even sleep for the 100 years or so it took to get to the nearest star. Then that robot could build more robots and download our minds t

"Stop smirking, it's just an expression! You know perfectly well what I mean when I say I'm putting my foot down and you can't go out tonight!"

'Of course he reminds you of yourself at his age -- he's your clone.'

Fisherman: 'HOLY MACKEREL!'

Good shrink, bad shrink.

"Cloning is all very well in theory, but do you have any proof it can actually work?"

Man climbing a dna 'ladder'.

'But how does it feel to misunderstand how you might think about not knowing what to believe?'

"Do you think solitude drives you insane?"

Angst - Zeitgeist.

"I'm following up on the why did the chicken cross the road question. I'm researching why did the thought cross the mind."

Studying Fire Behavior

Tattoo - brain diagram

"We've discovered the part of the human brain that activates achievement is located right next to the section that governs how much you look out the window."

'It'll revolutionize I. Q. testing! -- I've invented the mental dipstick!'

'Sorry, Dr. Schmertzdorf — that was my right brain talking.'

God: 'Man has dominion over fish...beasts...and germs have dominion over man.'

Isaac Newton, theoretical physicist, ignores falling apple and contemplates one that might have fallen'

'I wonder if they KNOW about each other?'

Brain Check

'Er. . . I had an appointment with Dr. Jekyll. . .'

"O.K., you told me so. May I continue."

Medical Office Directory. That makes sense, the psychiatrist works upstairs!

'It's all very well this 'The early bird catches the Worm' business, but I'm nocturnal...'

"This is the right side of the brain calling the left side of the brain. Come in, left side..."

'I didn't hire a lawyer, but I found a neuroscientist who can explain why it wasn't my fault.'