Boyfriend Pillows

"You are my blue beach glass."

"Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?"

'Brad, you really must do something about that acne.'

Understanding The Other Side, Whether Men, Women, or Mice.

'It's good to see that you have a smoke detector...'

"I happen to think the blue light of the TV screen is very romantic."

"Of course I love you more than cheese. What a silly question. In fact, cheese and I are just friends. Nothing's going on between cheese and me."

'First date with a logician - These venn Diagrams will save us a lot of time. We'll see where you fit in, where I fit in, and if any of it overlaps'

'She loves me, she loves me not...' 'Good grief, why is he dragging ME into this?'

'You're afraid of commitment, aren't you?'

Happy Valentine's Day

"Someone must love someone very much indeed."

"Do you have room in your bag for this?"

"When you say, 'It's all good' what you really mean is, 'I don't care'."

'At first I wasn't going to join, but with a name like that, how could I resist?'

The male conversation enhancement pill.

"Let me guess – you stayed late at your buddy's place helping him with a, quoth, poem."

Men. After shelling out for flowers, dinner and a movie, they all expect the same thing: a refund.

"How do I love thee….? Let me count the ways…" "I'm going to want a recount."

"Looks like someone got lucky."

Valentines Balloons

"Of course I'm listening. I'm in a heightened state of alert."

Undercover Fashion Police

"I've never said this to anyone before, David, but you've got some pigeon droppings or something in your hair."

"So that's your final answer."

You are the wasabi on my sushi

Ahhh...young and in love, a thrifty Mr. Tramp selects only the best flowers for ever date...

"Now that we've fallen in love, I have a confession. I'm not a giraffe—I'm fifty-eight weasels in a trenchcoat."

"I think this calls for a little banjo."

The Emergence Of Language

Warning. Objects in mirror my bear no relation to reality.

'She says I won't understand her until I've walked a mile in her shoes.'

'I can't believe I went out with an apostrophe. He was so possessive.'

"I'm not trying to change you—I'm trying to enhance you."

Mall Directory: You are here, but your mind is somewhere else.