Bow-wearing Canine Critic T-Shirts

"Seriously? You do not look like a William Arthur Huffington the Third to me! Methink this is a fake pedigree..."

Don't be fooled by the theatrics. She'll only suck your sap!

Dog Dressed to Eat

'You do a passable Jerry Lewis, but your Frank Sinatra stinks.'

No Soliciting

K9 Literati

"I hate it when he gets all Robin Williamsy."

'I don't know if we should stay there, dear. That kennel only got two stars.'

"Scents and scentsibility"

"Don't be fooled, it looks easy but I've yet to meet a dog who's mastered it."

Joe's Vet and Taxidermy

"You're not the first patient I've had who thinks he's a dog, Mr Buxton, so please, get up on the couch."

'I like it.'

"Sure, you used to be a YouTube sensation. But what have you done lately."

The Thinker and The Stinker

'You can wait.'

All my owner says is "Heel, heel, heel" --- And then he wonders why I keep chewing on his shoe!

If Cujo had been a chihuahua

"How come you never get the kind of granola with the chocolate chips in it?"

Business cartoon about an inbox system.

"He's always been a little needy, but the despair is new."

'You mean to tell me neither candidate supports a ban on doggy sweaters?!'

Dog Food Testing Lab.

'I don't care what you say...I heard him snicker!'

"Next time make two trips."

No, I didn't teach him to roll over --- He's just clumsy.

'Great car-chasing scenes!'

It is not enough that I receive a treat. The dog must also be deprived of one.

'It's disgusting! He just sits and licks his balls all day.'

"Now, now - If you can't say something nice about a parson, don't say anything at all."

"I love it when dogs work on their stupid."

Do you mean me personally? Or how much wood we could chuck on average?

'Oh Mike, what have they done to you?'

Shoe me the latest news on artificial intelligence. Loading … "For the Love of Benji." What? No. I didn't ask for some dog movie. Cancel. Canceling. Show me news about artificial intelligence. Loading … "Benji's Very Own Christmas Story." No! I want to hear what's going on with A.I.! Loading: "Lassie's Great Adventure."

"That's OK, they're not yelling at each other! They're yelling at the TV: a politician is giving a speech..."