Bovine Emperor T-Shirts

Any Grass planet was a welcome edition to the Cattle Empire.

'Houston, I'm prepared to land...'

"If you ask me, wearing these things only makes them nervous."

Don't be fooled by the theatrics. She'll only suck your sap!

'We're taking over tonight, it's the only way to save the farm.'

"They’re real."

Pull the udder one

'He's the best bull I've ever had.'

"You're famous, Angus."

'A Vertical Take-off Cow'.

THe UDDER Side

Wow, I don't know why we don't sit down like this more often!

"That's... yikes. I mean... what's even going on down there? Honey, I don't think a push-up bra is very flattering on you."

'Someday, son, when I've gone to that big roundup in the sky all this will be yours.'

WHOA! Another 6! Erm...what's that mean?

'A lot of my stories involve milk.'

"Okay, now we're too domesticated."

Carpet Cows

It was an impulse buy.

COW. JUST COW.

World Of Cow - Horns fly away by flapping ears.

"Every now and then, I get an overpowering urge to wear a cowbell."

"Hope I like it? Are you kidding me? Grass is my FAVOURITE!"

"I get aroused when I see you in leather."

Rule 1: Cows must be taught to obey the laws of physics!

The good news is that the 'Cow-Ray' has done minimal damge to the ship, captain!...

"Daisy, Daisy, I've seen the farmer filling in the forms: We're going to the Agricultural Show!"

"It's shrinkflation!"

'I'm mad as heck, and I'm not gonna take it anymore!'

'Unknown fact: Cows aren't grazing...they're searching for their contact lenses.'

"God, I hate cows."

'That's enough, thank you.'

Cow

The awesome new CZ 1000 Cowasaki.

"Have you given your daughter the 'Why Buy The Cow When You Can Get The Milk For Free' speech?"