Bovine Banter Fan Pillows

"I see you're on a date at the moment but perhaps later we could meet for a latte."

'It's not easy being green on grass!'

'Yak, yak, yak.'

Moo Out Loud

'Humans seem to be so weight-conscious: My rider weighs himself before each race...'

'It's a great film Pauline, I nearly milked myself laughing.'

Moo! OOM!

'Lord, we thank thee for the bounty we're about to receive.'

Grass: We lost some good men today!

"You can achieve anything if you put you mind to it."

Warning: Not giving milk is hazardous to your health.

Triple Sock Cow

The Cud Food Guide

"You're not helping the methane problem, you know."

"What I drink and what I tell the pollsters I drink are two different things."

"Yeah, I'm selling my bowling balls. Free delivery to anyone who lives downhill."

"Oh, God, it's the Herefords, pretend we don't see them."

'Don't worry about it. You're buying compulsion is perfectly normal.'

Stop! Mad cows are forbidden to cross the border!

"I have four stomachs and one of them always seems to be hungry.''

They're short of staff!

Propriety

Can you feel the electricity in the air?...

'So...your Bowel or mine?' / A male tapeworm using a pick-up line on a female tapeworm

"I love it!"

The Forgotten Men's Club

'The McWit boy wasn't likely to go cow tipping on his neighbor's farm again.'

"Mine's a metaphor. I don't know what's going on withyou."

"Oh year?! Well, MY daddy is the largest of the largest animal species on earth!"

'Quit the act? That's not you, boss--that's the drink talking.'

You throw poop like a girl.

'Hit me in the head with a sledgehammer.'

Cow Tipping Gone Rogue.

Udder Horns.

'I've told you before: Don't let your tongue touch your nose-ring when it's very cold!'