Botanical Drill Sergeant T-Shirts

"Grow!"

Prize vegetables.

Plant Lady

Garden Goddess.

"Would the widdle Venus fly trap like a fly? You'll have to beg for it."

Hermit Crabapple Tree

'A rose by any other name means I flunked the botany test.'

'Hey, wait a minute...Apples aren't indigenous to this geopraphical region.'

'He works out aggression by bayoneting the leaves.'

"Oh, quit your whining. At least yours comes back in the Spring

Plant Reference Library - Flowers/Trees.

"Takes the food right out of your mouth."

A drooping plant is watered via an IV tube.

'True it does have small flowers but through the microscope its exquisite.'

"My favorite tea: hot daffodil-infused chamomile with a hint of whiskey. Are you serious? Of course I'm serious! I've been dosing myself with small quantities of poisonous daffodil ever since 1931. You have to build up an immunity if you want to survive in the cutthroat world of Scrabble tournaments."

"Mother! How? Wait — where’s Dad?!"

"Rats, I thought he'd like my science project!"

'He's a retired Drill-Sergeant!'

Tree Identification Field Guide...

'Let's go to the Horticultural Show and taste the exotic flowers...'

Getting Rid of the Cure

Balding gnomes

"Lemming Boot Camp"

'Turn right at the Robinia pseudoacacia, pass the garden with the salvia officinalis, cross the road when you see the stranvaesia davidinia and the pub is on the left!'

'Take me to your weeder!'

The tulip knew it was in trouble when called by its scientific name.

Waiting for plants to grow

'This species of fungi was last spotted in Oxford by Alice Liddell in 1862!'

"There's a house-plant round here somewhere."

"I've never liked 'im - he's an attention seeker!"

A yeoman misunderstanding an order from his drill-sergeant

"You guys need to #@%!% fight harder. You're all #@%!% wimps! You call yourselves a #@%!% army? Bull%#!*!"

'He wants to return some shade trees because they stopped working in November.'