Bossy Partner Pillows

"Stop moaning - you'll ruin our weekend away..."

"Just keep quiet and listen to what we have to say."

"He likes it."

'All I want for Valentine's Day is a Greek fisherman's cap.'

"I have good news and bad news, Tom. The good news is good for me. The bad news is bad for you."

Two cats making a heart shape with their tails

"My husband finally taught him to use the toilet but can't convince him to give up kitty litter."

"Well, old girl, this is the third act. What, if anything, do we have up our sleeve?"

"Can you train him to bite my husband whenever the trash gets full?"

'On second thought, he does do one thing around the house -- he cleans out the refrigerator.'

"It's my company. I want to star in the commercial."

'What I enjoy most, is bossing people around!'

'She taught me that copping an attitude will get you everything.'

'It seems that my advice wasn't the only thing he could do without.'

"Smug and complacent beats young and enthusiastic when you're the boss."

'Just remember that until you grow into a huge tree, I'm the grown-up around here!'

'Get your hands off my husband.'

"So is that enough 'putting out' for you?"

'See! It's all in the wrist.'

"No, I didn't fake it last night. I really was asleep"

One-Up-Manship Valentine's Day

"Hey hon, don't wait up. They too the handcuffs and leather whip away from me at security."

"Yes Mildred, I'm washing the dishes now."

'Quit always tryin' to tell me what to do!'

'Henderson - Come in here and rub my belly.'

'In other sports, Jimmy Sheinblum once again won the world' strongest man competition after staying married to his wife Zelda for yet another year.'

'George - just what we need to help you get on your high horse!'

'Maybe we should wait until after we've won all that money playing poker until we tell the boss where to go...'

It's admirable you do your bit to save the planet by wearing green undies, but let's not forget, they weren't green when you bought them!

"Look, who's driving this car, you or your mum?"

"So when, exactly, did you plan on cleaning all this crap up?"

'I guess I should have known when she signed us up for the gift registry as a pet shop.'

'Doesn't he ever wash these things?'

I gave up smoking to annoy the wife by living longer.

"I almost didn't recognize him with that sheet over his face instead of a newspaper."