Border Security Personnel Gifts

"It really is flour."

Schengen

UK border controls relaxed.

'The fun begins when we go through airport security.'

Airport Security.

'Where was the TSA?'

'As it's your first day we're going to start you on something easy.'

Collies Without Borders

Dogs stealing cat food - Vice Squad orders 'Stay!'

Privacy Conference Security

Europe and immigration.

OK! I promise that the questions will be easy!

Crossing the Nachos Grande

'The bigger they are... The harder they hit!'

"My boss had security escort me out of the office today. I'm worried this means I won't be getting a bonus."

"So, how was your day at work, Dear?"

"The club scene is really changing."

Private Viewing

'Says here you can tear phonebooks in half? Well, security could use a man like you in our shredding department!'

"Don't worry. If we're too late, we can always catch the secondary screening."

Viva Belarus!

'I'm afraid we're going to have to let you go, Richter. The crime rate has dropped.'

'You know, this is a pretty dangerous line of work you're in...'

'If you'll excuse me, my car is on fire.'

A pocket of pygmies - "Have you anything to declare sir?"

"The security scanner said I have exquisite feet."

"Remember that requirement that you work without supervision? Forget it."

"His name? It's 'Reggie the Drug-Sniffing Dog.'"

'You do a fine job guarding the place, we just need you to shed less.'

Bluewater security man stopping baby with hood.

Sign on Secret Service door: Could be out to lunch.