Boot Camp Instructor T-Shirts

'Yes, I'm proud to say all my kids went into boot camp as soon as they left home.'

"If a stock falls in the market, and it had no investors, does it really lose its value?"

Computer Science Class 10101010101.

"Since global warming the Abominable Snowman is much less frightening than he used to be."

'Any wilderness skills besides making smores?'

'Yes, I do a lot of rowing. How could you tell?'

Kirsten Johnson

'Leadership training.'

Girl on a giant pair of scissors.

"Why are all of your answers so mechanical?"

Dept. of Engineering. It's a well-written paper, but a "gyroscope" is not a device for looking at tiny Greek sandwiches.

'Professor Higgenbottom will have the number π and I'll have the number √-i.'

'There's one app we can't give you ... aptitude.'

2 + 2 = 4. 2 x 2 = 4. Oh, I get it! It's a Zen thing!

University. I never really understood geometry until the instructor brought up pizzas.

Girl on a giant pair of scissors.

"Wow! That's an amazing welding project!"

Professor Isaac goes off on another tangent.

"This is a teaching hospital."

Gym. Try our Boot Camp Classes. I was dishonorably discharged!

Early design for the Two-Man Kayak.

Psychology Dept. Faculty Evaluations Today. I can't tell if it's my id or my ego, but I'm really craving a promotion.

'Forget everything I told you about flying.'

Gym. Trainer. What's with this "burning calories"? Why can't we just lightly toast them?

'I told you to keep the rice in a plastic bag.'

" 'How I Spent My Sabbatical,' by Professor Harvey Brinkman."

Does it Rain at Camp?

"… and once you've finished advanced infantry training, you'll be assigned to film school."

"Be careful, dear. People tend to lose control when faced with the newfound freedom of their first year of tenure."

Creative Writing 101. When it comes to writing lean, simple prose, there's the wrong way, the right way and the Hemingway.

School Supply Room. Look at this -- a calculator, a protractor and a compass! You've discovered the missing weapons of math instruction!

"And when the little hand gets to the nine, it means... ah, just check your cell phones."

'Teachers' Dreams.''Did you just say F***? Care to repeat it so everyone can hear you or is even a four letter word beyond your abilities? ... And the state expects me to make you multisyllabic.'

Physics 101. An object in motion remaining in motion is an example of what law? Easy come, easy go!

'Try to keep the number of your landings equal to the number of your takeoffs!'