Bookworm Who Loves Building Tips Gifts

"I think you might need a few more tools."

"Your usually vicious sarcasm is weak. Go pump some irony."

Chicken soup for the sole.

'I'm into New Age. My new age is 26.'

'I've had a few short stories published, but I'd really like to write 'the Great American How to Write a Novel.''

Megabyte Information Processing Center.

'My blog has been favourited over half a million times but still no book deal!'

Bird reading '1001 pickup lines' - 'I'm getting ready for mating season.'

Welcome back students.

Auguste Comte

DIY information - 'Here you are - look it up yourself.'

"You're going to create the same problems on the way down as you created on the way up."

Library: The Weight lifting Section.

Finance Sector: Art of Rain Making.

Man's Logic/Woman's Logic

'I finally got in touch with my true inner self, and he's as bad as I am.'

I have a date tonight. She's coming over. I need to get home and clean it all up. Not so fast, little buddy. Cleaning is a delicate art. Clean too little, and she thinks you're a slob. Clean too much, and she thinks you're hiding something. It's almost as if you haven't read chapter 7 of the manual. What manual? "Mancleaning: By Randy 'The Rock' Taylor." You wrote a whole book about cleaning? It's the follow-up to "How to Reach the Tenth Level of Passion by Feng Shui-ing Your Dust Bunnies." It's

Man 'Gogols' the Overcoat.

"200,000 other people have also highlighted this passage of the E-book, you common idiot."

'If you must laugh, will you do it in the humour section please?'

'I know how you feel.'

Dislecksick Sipport Grewp.h

EAT HAY LOVE One Horse's Search for Everything

Have the author sign your kindle...

"It's a book about how to ask for a raise, '50 shades of Pay'."

"That? - oh my husband - a closet bricklayer."

Make Your Portfolio BEARable.

"Brenda's always been a bit of a worrier."

"Curling up with a good book is one thing, but now you're taking a shelfie?"

'My first wife said I was ignorant. My second said I bragged too much. My third said I was conceited. And so it is that my self-knowledge just keeps growing and growing.'

'He's in the library.'

Open Book Therapy

'Just think of me as your life coach.'

Success Without Effort

'Actually, sir, almost everything is on the restricted shelf.'