Bookworm's Critic Gifts

"How's the new Reading lanp?"

'With 73 dog obedience books read between us, I think we must consider defeat.'

Sherlock Holmes selling Sherlock Holmes.

hard-boiled egg...

"Your usually vicious sarcasm is weak. Go pump some irony."

"Max! Oh, my God! There's like a billion moving ideas in there!"

'It must be a problem of interpretation. I've read this book DOZENS of times, and I keep winding up here!'

The Da Vinci Cod

K9 Literati

"What your memoir really needs is an addiction."

Publisher. "The Laws of Motion " is a little dry for a title, Mr. Newton. How about something catchier like "When Push Comes to Shove"?

Bug reading book has antennae that are lights.

Trivia/Great Literature.

"Don't be a sentimental fool, Harker!"

Bird reading '1001 pickup lines' - 'I'm getting ready for mating season.'

'My blog has been favourited over half a million times but still no book deal!'

A man reading 'Beach Chairs for Dummies'

'Are you writing my symptoms, or is that your autobiography?'

"This is the way I like it - I pretend to be asleep and he doesn't bother me."

Who says religion can't have a sense of humour.

"So, you're telling me that you can't return, 'How to be a secret agent' because the final chapter instructed you to eat it after reading?"

1,000 places to see after you die by Shirley Maclaine.

"Convicts selling novels from prison? At least that could never happen here, eh Jones?"

The book is so much better than the film..

Library: The Weight lifting Section.

Man's Logic/Woman's Logic

"I just remembered where I left my chew toy."

A man uses a reaching tool to keep a book far enough out for him to read it.

Pastoring for Dummies

"Do you have any bedtime stories that aren't about the former Yugoslavia?"

The Colonel at home.

Book signing The Art Of Forgery - "Gee thanks, Oprah Winfrey."

"Poetry would be way more accessible if they just said what they meant."

"No, no, that's my copy of 'Being and Time'—look at the teeth marks along 'Heidegger'."

'If you must laugh, will you do it in the humour section please?'