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"Jupiter is in the Ram, which is bad news for the 17.23."

'Actually, accounting is an exact science.'

The witch of the west again showed no water usage for the month.

'The job calls for a little filing now and then...'

"The numbers don't lie . . . but we do."

"Useless information"

Sheep Ledger

"So, do you want balls that only go up, or ones that only go down?"

"It's felt to be his most thought provoking work."

"My accountant is brilliant - he has just had a loophole names after him!"

"Six out of ten statisticians prefer to be in the majority."

Businessman sees sign in window of 'Fred's Chili Bowl' restaurant: 'Now Hiring a Bean Counter'.

Bank cashier sits near sign: 'Please do not ask for credit, as refusal often offends'.

"These are just the guidelines, the forms are in the truck outside!"

Gone Bookkeepin'

"This pesky decimal point seems to give you quite a bit of trouble."

'You certainly have a way with no words.'

'I'm not comfortable with his method of fixing our balance sheet.'

"Other folks have to pay taxes, too, Mr. Herndon, so would you please spare us the dramatics!"

"Now I see your problem. You've been using a leaf blower to rake it in."

'Take it easy, the textbooks will be here. It's only August 30.'

'Good news! It looks as though the $50 million loss we expected to show is going to be a $30 million profit. You know, we should have hired a government accountant as our chief financial officer years ago.'

Accountant Manqué

'I think you'll find these projections somewhat exaggerated, but in a good way.'

A Lady Out Shopping.

"Do you have anything else by the same author?"

'Do you think now's a good time to ask for a raise?' - 'I wouldn't if I was you. She gave me one this morning.'

University Book Store.

Self-Improvement, Self-Empowerment, Self-Aggrandizement

"The time has come to talk of many things; of shoes and ships and sealing wax, of double-entry bookkeeping, too."

"So, the bills still aren't paid? You've never been good at money management."

"Cook the books al dente so the auditor will have a little something to crunch."

Records?

A man sitting in the grass reading

After years of working in an office without a door, Doug was moved to a door without an office.