Booking Clerk T-Shirts

"Jupiter is in the Ram, which is bad news for the 17.23."

'Actually, accounting is an exact science.'

The witch of the west again showed no water usage for the month.

'The job calls for a little filing now and then...'

"The numbers don't lie . . . but we do."

"So, do you want balls that only go up, or ones that only go down?"

Sheep Ledger

"It's felt to be his most thought provoking work."

"Useless information"

"Six out of ten statisticians prefer to be in the majority."

Businessman sees sign in window of 'Fred's Chili Bowl' restaurant: 'Now Hiring a Bean Counter'.

"My accountant is brilliant - he has just had a loophole names after him!"

Bank cashier sits near sign: 'Please do not ask for credit, as refusal often offends'.

From Hunter-Gatherer to Influencer: The Evolution of the Dignity of Labor

"These are just the guidelines, the forms are in the truck outside!"

Gone Bookkeepin'

"This pesky decimal point seems to give you quite a bit of trouble."

'You certainly have a way with no words.'

'I'm not comfortable with his method of fixing our balance sheet.'

"Other folks have to pay taxes, too, Mr. Herndon, so would you please spare us the dramatics!"

'Take it easy, the textbooks will be here. It's only August 30.'

"Now I see your problem. You've been using a leaf blower to rake it in."

'I think you'll find these projections somewhat exaggerated, but in a good way.'

'Good news! It looks as though the $50 million loss we expected to show is going to be a $30 million profit. You know, we should have hired a government accountant as our chief financial officer years ago.'

Accountant Manqué

"So, the bills still aren't paid? You've never been good at money management."

Records?

"The time has come to talk of many things; of shoes and ships and sealing wax, of double-entry bookkeeping, too."

"Cook the books al dente so the auditor will have a little something to crunch."

A man sitting in the grass reading

"Do you have anything else by the same author?"

'Do you think now's a good time to ask for a raise?' - 'I wouldn't if I was you. She gave me one this morning.'

Self-Improvement, Self-Empowerment, Self-Aggrandizement

School of Wizardry and Creative Accounting.

University Book Store.