Book List Compiler Gifts

(My book list $ 100)

"Too bad about old Ainsworth. Published and published, but perished all the same."

The Dorrie Decimal System

"That's five votes for In The Midst of Winter....three votes for The Hollow Ground....and, again, one vote for Moby-Dick."

"Not that I have the time, but I enjoy reading."

"If I Can Make One Critic Smile..."

"Sir, you're not on the list - we've checked it twice."

This is the new Director's Cut version of Hansel and Gretel...with additional scenes and three alternative endings!!!

'A is for Arse.'

"Colin kept the bar fairly low."

"There are those who write books to be read and other who write novels for bookshelves."

'You're reordering your priorities? -- Since when do you have priorities?'

'Madam, this is not pornography. It is a textbook on obsterics and gynecology...'

"Your top 10 list of reasons why you didn't do your homework is creative, but not acceptable."

Introducing Ambient Books: No beginning...no middle...no end...just a bunch of sentences specially written to soothe and relax the reader.

"I have an app for that."

"Who has removed the appendix from the medical text book?"

Memoirs: Fiction/Non Fiction.

You trip on it, you buy it.

Next Wave Collegiate Sports

Benjamin Bunny re-writes Beatrix Potter

"We don't use good and bad lists anymore. Now we have stupid, really stupid and completely nuts lists."

Cut out and keep your own Jane Austen.

"No, I don't think I have a book in me. I think I have a chicken in me."

Religious texts from heaven and hell find common ground...they are made in China.

'I've got it written down...'

Home Sweet Second Home.

The Ordered List

Pile of books for sale with sign: Expired Fifteen-Minutes-of-Fame Books.

"I didn't get anything I asked for last year so I want your acceptance of this year's list to be notarized."

'Be careful! She loves to curl up by the fire with a good author!'