Book Launch Enthusiast Gifts

Book publishing.

'Hospital for Columnists' "Great news you've got cancer!" "Brilliant! Think of the paperback sales"

"After years of cartoon rejections, Bill stooped to trying a little shameless product placement."

Producer, Director and Novelizer.

Victor Hugo

First Novels.

"Tonight! Author book signing." "Develop your inner raging bitch."

"Meet the author"

Reading my Critics

"I try to write a little bit every day."

'Meet the author with her collaborators'

Author of 'The Big Pop-up Book' popping up out of a folding table.

What Harper Lee's REALLY been up to all these years

Meet the author - celebrity autobiographies,

"Tracey, this is Gene. He also read the Nancy Reagan book in unbound galleys."

"Hmm...I can see a best-selling book and a movie deal out of this..."

'Sorry, Marx, but your writing ability doesn't meet our needs.'

It's an autobiography of a guy who spent his whole life trying to get his first @#^& book published. Editor.

"Commandments aren't really selling these days. However, we're willing to consider self-help tips or personal improvement ideas."

'He speaks for our entire generation. Pity he's such a bore...'

'He wrote a whole book on how to play a slot machine. I'm anxious for his next one: How to Set an Alarm Clock.'

Editor.

So You've Cloned Yourself

'Is this your first book launch?'

'Sorry, we can't offer you a job but we would like to publish your CV.'

"I've read all your books and seen all your plays, and I wear your 'Gimme' cap."

Meet the author

"There goes our early night."

'Gifted class, indeed. One is gifted in science, but he can't read - one is gifted in reading, but won't even try math...'

"We'd like to publish it, do nothing to promote it, and watch it disappear from the shelves in less than a month."

"In this one, references to everything have been deleted."

Meet the author Billy Bovine.

Learn yourself English.

Professor McWit, crushed by an avalanche of Philosophy 101 texts, proves again that a little knowledge is a dangerous thing.

Boy carrying Samuel Richardson's 'Clarissa' for his mistress