Book Cover Critic Pillows

"Do you think there's too much white on the cover?"

Ed Flanders, Deconstruction Worker

'Look! The new long awaited, highly anticipated but ultimately disappointing novel by that guy you like.'

You've read the book's dust jacket. Now, play the video game!

"Heads up! It's another tidal wave of overwrought critical hyperbole!"

"I like his earlier work better, particularly the ones I said I didn't like at the time."

"Moby Richard by Herman Melville" "Wonderful! Not sure about the title—let's discuss editor."

"Be careful of that sun, Stewart. You're starting to look like the front page of the 'Times Book Review.'"

'Right so lets be clear, when you said my book was a turgid reworking of a sad collection of hackneyed ideas you actually meant that it was a groundbreaking work of originality and genius...'

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A book reviewer reads between the margins.

"It's a great story, funny and entertaining - and better still it's not won a single prize for literature."

Book publishing.

Dog writes a review: 'A sublime book, I devoured it in one sitting ...'

"It's finally happened. This magazine has more subscription cards than pages!"

"Let's go on vacation, get disappointed, complain about prices, read terrible novels, buy trashy souvenirs, miss the dog and look forward to coming home."

"Here’s a book with a pretty peacock on the cover. Let’s try this Flannery O’Connor story before bed."

"I feel bad about Nora Ephron's neck."

"How the hell should I know what I'm looking at? You're lousy insurance doesn't provide HD X-rays."

"With one hand I'm reading the past decade's most critically acclaimed novel. With my other hand I'm searching for enough negative reviews to justify my decision to abandon it."

"What I really want to do is chew up children’s books."

'Read any good book reviews lately?'

'It's just more pro-parent spin.'

"Dumb it down or sex it up."

"Take away his brilliant prose, and he's just some depressed guy."

'Umm, well, thank you Mr. Snuggles for that unorthodox report on 'To kill a mockingbird'.'

" will enver read that book, and I"m eagerly waiting to avoid the movie."

"Believe me, there are no critics under your bed."

"Your husband is critical."

"In my spare time, I write reviews on Goodreads."

Book Review Translator

'It was better than the book.'

'I hate these literary parties. All everyone does is sit around and complain about their publishers. Take mine for instance ...'