Bondage Botanist T-Shirts

'Anything else need tying up?'

Prize vegetables.

Wildlife

'Honey, I wish you wouldn't bring your work home with you!'

'Enjoy your meal! We grow everything ourselves!'

Plant Lady

"Cheery little flowers, saying good night, saying good morning!"

'We use to tiptoe through the tulips. . . now we just waddle through the weeds.'

Plants Cheer as They Get Watered.

"Usually gardeners only have green thumbs, so you must really spend a lot of time in the garden."

'I had a wonderful garden last year. Bark beetles, aphids, mealy worms, thripes, wax seal, gray mold, and grubs!'

"Looks like we grafted a few too many human genes into the kohlrabi."

Rose Garden

Horti-Culture

Florabation - '..mmm...It must be spring!'

"No! I want to live! I want to live!"

Garden Goddess.

'Congratulations on your 100% plant-based diet. I'm referring you to a botanist.'

'Esther, is it possible, just possible mind you, that your green thumb has gone berserk?'

Hermit Crabapple Tree

Botany Baby!

"Fred, I think you're spending altogether too much time down here with these mushrooms!"

Painting taking root...

"Would the widdle Venus fly trap like a fly? You'll have to beg for it."

'A rose by any other name means I flunked the botany test.'

Woman in hospital has i.v. attached to plant.

'I'd forgotten how lovely it looks outside!'

Water the hydrangeas twice a week and trim as needed. The bromeliad only needs to be high-fived on Saturday, but you can give it high and low fives anytime you have a spare moment. Just, whatever you do, don't give it a "too slow" or it will turn inward and begin shutting down.

'He works out aggression by bayoneting the leaves.'

"Get out of my face!"

The Garden

Mad about Roses!

'Mirror, mirror, on the wall, who is the fairest algologist of all?'

'Personally I can't see anything wrong with GM crops!'

'That plant food really works!'