Body Shaming Gifts

Kim Kardashian

'Be honest. Does this double bacon cheeseburger with large fries and shake make me look fat?'

"Daddy, you have to flatten this curve."

Secretive Weigh In.

A small number of people are afraid of heights, but there is an epidemic fear of widths.

"I'm more of a 'How Jen stays thin' person than a 'Why Jen won't let Brad alone' person."

wattle covers

'My diet seems to be working great! Do you have any less relaxed jeans?'

'Do you have to use that? -- tongue depressors make me hungry.'

"Yet she never gains an ounce."

'And she's got to have implants out to here.'

'It's the same model... he painted the second one eight months after the first painting.'

"Push harder - I still can't see the scale."

"That's a big fat lie!"

'I did have a tummy-tuck...But I opted for reconstruction surgery at the same time.'

"Hold on, hun... I'm just saying, losing four ounces in a month is better than gaining four ounces in a month!"

"Damn. These must have shrunk in the wash." "I don't think so."

Aging Problems

Too Skinny, Too Fat

"This tiny bald spot where your hairline used to be is so-o-o cute!"

No matter what I do, I still look more like a 'before' picture than an 'after' picture.

"I can't have anything that's a food."

'Oh no! You're obviously smaller than me, Joy!' 'You're not fat, 'cause those pants were tight on me too Verl.'

'You are being haunted by the spirit of a slimmer, trimmer, you.'

"It isn't fair! Why aren't thin lips fashionable?"

'You can't handle the truth.' - Scene from 'Do these pants make me look fat' starring Jack Nioholson

'You know that thin person inside you, struggling to get out? -- He seems to have gained weight, too.'

"Does this dress make my butt look big?"

"If I had known I was going to evolve, I would have worked on my beach bod."

"You're really serious about that diet!"

Woman leaves cosmetic surgery as her waste skin is dumped in skip.

'I think my dieting may be getting out of hand.'

'I envy your metabolism.'

'I hate her...'

'I'm hoping for a heat wave - I could afford to lose a few pounds.'