Body Shaming Gifts

Kim Kardashian

'Be honest. Does this double bacon cheeseburger with large fries and shake make me look fat?'

A small number of people are afraid of heights, but there is an epidemic fear of widths.

"Daddy, you have to flatten this curve."

Secretive Weigh In.

"I'm more of a 'How Jen stays thin' person than a 'Why Jen won't let Brad alone' person."

wattle covers

'Do you have to use that? -- tongue depressors make me hungry.'

'My diet seems to be working great! Do you have any less relaxed jeans?'

"Yet she never gains an ounce."

'And she's got to have implants out to here.'

'It's the same model... he painted the second one eight months after the first painting.'

"That's a big fat lie!"

'I did have a tummy-tuck...But I opted for reconstruction surgery at the same time.'

"Damn. These must have shrunk in the wash." "I don't think so."

Aging Problems

"Hold on, hun... I'm just saying, losing four ounces in a month is better than gaining four ounces in a month!"

Too Skinny, Too Fat

"This tiny bald spot where your hairline used to be is so-o-o cute!"

"I can't have anything that's a food."

No matter what I do, I still look more like a 'before' picture than an 'after' picture.

'Oh no! You're obviously smaller than me, Joy!' 'You're not fat, 'cause those pants were tight on me too Verl.'

"It isn't fair! Why aren't thin lips fashionable?"

'You are being haunted by the spirit of a slimmer, trimmer, you.'

"If I had known I was going to evolve, I would have worked on my beach bod."

'You know that thin person inside you, struggling to get out? -- He seems to have gained weight, too.'

"You're really serious about that diet!"

"Does this dress make my butt look big?"

Woman leaves cosmetic surgery as her waste skin is dumped in skip.

'I envy your metabolism.'

'I hate her...'

'I'm hoping for a heat wave - I could afford to lose a few pounds.'

'I'd say it's pre-liposuction.'