Body Positive Pal Pillows

Woman is shocked at seeing her weight, she doesn't realise that her dog is also on the scales.

'My body has rejected every diet I've tried.'

I DATED A GUY FROM THE FAIR, BUT . . .

This cream won't get rid of cellulite...it just makes it easier to slide into your jeans.

"Eventually, you'll learn to hate your body, then love it again, then hate it—and back and forth until the beach becomes very complicated."

"Privates Beach"

Critisize your weight.

A small number of people are afraid of heights, but there is an epidemic fear of widths.

'Amazing! We truly do live in a classless society.'

'My diet seems to be working great! Do you have any less relaxed jeans?'

Breast Height Chart

'It's the same model... he painted the second one eight months after the first painting.'

"Thanks for calling it skinnydipping."

'You've still got the right stuff, only now it's in the wrong places.'

'I gotta lose some weight.'

"The third little pig is now a menopausal porker. I hate these hairs on my chinny chin chin."

"That's a big fat lie!"

"I really didn't have a weight problem until they invented skinny jeans."

'I did have a tummy-tuck...But I opted for reconstruction surgery at the same time.'

"I don't care what it was or how hard it was to kill. It makes me look fat."

"Damn. These must have shrunk in the wash." "I don't think so."

"My Weight Watchers meeting's tonight. I'd better get inside."

"I don't think anyone will notice your ninty seven pound lime green lycra swimming trunks Terry."

Aging Problems

"When you're healed, I'm going to wear it so I can't see what I weigh."

Hips may appear larger than they actually are.

'Here's your chance to become a legend.'

"Give me your metabolism! Now!"

'Good News. Further x-rays revealed the big shadow on your lung to your stomach.'

'Call Me Old-Fashioned, But I Liked It Better When They Didn't Shave Their Armpits.'

"I'm pretty sure the middle-aged upper-arm jiggle is the one thing there's not a niche market for."

Fat fairy

'You know what I really like in someone? Bulk!'

'Good grief! Who CARES where our tails begin?'

Girl's weight issues.