Body Language Analyst Gifts

'Everything OK?'

'The usual ‘nod, nod, wink, wink' will do, Walter. We don't need the eyebrow twitch and nostril flares.'

"You're overthinking it. Sometimes a belly rub is just a belly rub."

"It's his body language. All I hear is snorting, burping, and ominous rumblings from his lower extremities."

"They say you're supposed to listen to what your body is telling you." "Yeah, but do the rest of us have to listen to it too?!"

Motion denied. Your lips say "motion denied," but your eyes say "approach the bench."

'You slouch in the chair, show no enthusiasm, and mumble when you speak. . . and your degree is in communications.'

Body Language - "Guess why I'm annoyed."

"Well, was it the scowling grunt of no-way or the scowling grunt of okay?"

'All those in doubt, raise your eyebrows.'

A mime and his pet parrot talk to one another.

"I'm fascinated by body language."

'I know it's controversial, but my calculations prove beyond doubt that a nod is BETTER than a wink.'

"You need to stand up for yourself, or at least sit up straight."

The bluebird of passive-aggressiveness

Wonders of evolution: Same face, totally different meaning.

Body Language Expert - 'You don't like your job do you?'

"I plan on keeping this off my resume!"

"My System 1 tells me she's articulate, capable, shrewd. My System 2 says BIMBO."

These young people need everything spelled out to them! I miss the old days, when a wink was a wink, and a nod was a nod.

'When you approach a customer, don't have your hands in your pockets.'

"It's all the rage at court but I doubt it will catch on. He calls it power posing. . .!"

Vladimir Putin 101: Saying the Opposite of What You Mean

"He's so well behaved I'm really worried, doctor."

"Of course it's not easy to read the body language of someone who's basically inert."

'He can toot his own horn but when he starts tooting the government's we need to step in.'

"My conclusion that he lied was based on his body language, his polygraph results, and the complete implausibility of his story."

"Your body language says you've lost interest."

"Since you're always asking, here's a list of my various kinds of sighs, with explanation of what each one means."

Non-verbal Management Skills.

Messrs Wink, Nod and Nudge write book on unspoken communication.

Title Page for 'Mrs Grundy'

"People are crazy."

When mimes make an appointment...

The psychiatrist.