Body Image Observers Gifts

"I can still fit into my high-school kayak."

'Be honest. Does this double bacon cheeseburger with large fries and shake make me look fat?'

"Say, when did you get so fluff?"

"Daddy, you have to flatten this curve."

A small number of people are afraid of heights, but there is an epidemic fear of widths.

"I'm more of a 'How Jen stays thin' person than a 'Why Jen won't let Brad alone' person."

wattle covers

'Do you have to use that? -- tongue depressors make me hungry.'

'My diet seems to be working great! Do you have any less relaxed jeans?'

"Push harder - I still can't see the scale."

"That's a big fat lie!"

'I did have a tummy-tuck...But I opted for reconstruction surgery at the same time.'

"Hold on, hun... I'm just saying, losing four ounces in a month is better than gaining four ounces in a month!"

"Damn. These must have shrunk in the wash." "I don't think so."

Aging Problems

Gym. It doesn't help when you call the ab workout a "journey to the center of the girth."

Too Skinny, Too Fat

"This tiny bald spot where your hairline used to be is so-o-o cute!"

No matter what I do, I still look more like a 'before' picture than an 'after' picture.

"I can't have anything that's a food."

'Oh no! You're obviously smaller than me, Joy!' 'You're not fat, 'cause those pants were tight on me too Verl.'

'You are being haunted by the spirit of a slimmer, trimmer, you.'

"It isn't fair! Why aren't thin lips fashionable?"

'You can't handle the truth.' - Scene from 'Do these pants make me look fat' starring Jack Nioholson

'You know that thin person inside you, struggling to get out? -- He seems to have gained weight, too.'

"You're really serious about that diet!"

Woman leaves cosmetic surgery as her waste skin is dumped in skip.

"If I had known I was going to evolve, I would have worked on my beach bod."

"Does this dress make my butt look big?"

"Hey, great ab!"

'I envy your metabolism.'

'I hate her...'

'I'm hoping for a heat wave - I could afford to lose a few pounds.'

'It wouldn't be so bad if they were pert and perky.'

'I'd say it's pre-liposuction.'