Boat Namer Extraordinaire T-Shirts

'I'm trying to think of a name for my boat.' - 'How about 'Tax Dodge'?'

'The church says the Earth is flat, but I know that it is round for I have seen the shadow on the Moon, and I have more faith in a shadow than in the Church.'

'Cannonball!'

"Harry—Let's get brunch and day drink."

'Get the net ready, Alice. I think it's a big one.'

"...for a canal I thought that was unusually short."

Farmer and FIsherman

"These are my fish cymbalta, otezla, skyrizi, vraylar and stelara!"

"Shall I let them breathe."

Captain Hook getting his hook stuck in the rail, again

"That's the last time I buy a dog from a cartoonist."

"Ticket and passport, please."

"Captain, we've taken on strippers."

"This crew gets 15 miles to the pound of gruel. They're very fuel efficient."

"Will thee not sayeth uncle?!"

"There's always a period of adjustment whenever you hire a new crew."

"How can you feel queasy, we're barely out of port."

'Keep pumping Mildred.'

'The travel agent says there's nothing available on the port side. Do you want me to see if she's got anything on the sherry side?'

"Richard was recently promoted to first mate."

"With the benefit of hindsight, I’d say no, Ed, it wasn’t ‘funny’ letting him steer the boat!"

Walking the Plank.

'David, David, we're sinking! Our water bed has sprung a leak!'

"Is a six pack enough? I can go back out."

Late Night with Patrick O'Brian

Man painting MOM on boat

'I told you that parrot didn't know how to navigate.'

'I'm not scaring the fish - I'm WARNING the fish!'

Fisherman selling sardines in oil, haddock in oil, cod in oil etc..

"Quick! Hide the valuables."

"Let’s draw him closer to New Bedford — we’ll get cell service there and Instagram the heck out of this!"

"Sorry, Captain, but we have to let you go. You just lack leader-ship skills."

"So that's five for bailing, and three for patching. If there are no objections, the chair will now hear arguments."

Pirate Dives For Underwater Treasure

'I told you we should have unionized.'