Boastful Decorator T-Shirts

"We had these twigs flown in from Italy."

"I decided to go all out on the house decorations this year."

"The woman on the fire escape who acted like it was a balcony"

"....Oh, and the dog's eaten all the fridge magnets."

Schools of Art - A Rough Guide.

Filet minion

'You certainly have a well equipped workbench.'

Shelter Cat Nap

"I love these old decorations!"

Man with raked leaves on wall plaques.

Still Life With Nordic Track

"I only scratch up the furniture hoping they'll replace it with something more stylish."

Pinata Trophies

Yard Sale

The Hammer

"Can that be right?"

'Davinia! Your Feng Shui person's here.'

Hunter in stand in a Christmas tree tied to a car.

Mice Cream

An assortment of vegetables in the form of Tables

'I found out how to redecorate the easy way - just call the old wallpaper names and it will come down to slap you!'

'There, that should freak 'em out.'

"You love anything tacky, don't you?"

'Home is where I hang my bat.'

Frankenstein's Reading Light

'On today's market a property like this could fetch 175k... but with themed rooms, stone cladding, avocado bathroom suite and garden gnomes, you're talking closer to 95..!'

"We want it to look lived in, but not necessarily by us."

'I'm very proud of my El Gecko.'

"I like that everything is mismatched. I just think it could be mismatched better."

Dare to be different.

If you can read this, you're standing too close.

Jackson Pollock the Spider

"Well, I didn't have any more wall space, and I was also tired of being bald."

Lad to man behind desk: 'I notice your fish is 10 times larger than your picture of me!!'

"I'll bet there's a story there."