Boastful Braggart Pillows

'Look out... here comes the Trumpet Voluntary.'

Excess Baggage: You send emails from exotic places just to make your friends jealous.

Fish talking in a bar - one has a heap of hooks hanging out of his head 'And you must be the one who got away?'

"Don’t worry. You’re looking at the Frederick H. Tuttle Middle School long-jump champion."

'If you're worried what to say you do for a living at your reunion, just tell them you recently bought a large stake in a local brewery.'

'Selling a stock and marking a profit is better than selling it at a loss, if only for the bragging rights.'

'He's a very superior dog. Even his fleas have pedigrees!'

"And this is Joshua, he'll be a hundred and forty-seven months next week."

'Sure you always catch bigger fish than me. Your arms are a foot longer than mine.'

'Bragging at the Old Physicists' & Old Writers' Home.'

'Oh yeah, well, MY DADDY can scare ELEPHANTS!'

'This buggy gets only about one mile per gal.'

'Tut. Now I suppose we'll have to hear all about her holiday!'

One-upmanship.

Albatross bragging about his latest catch...

'He was competitive to the very end.'

'And that's only the size of the fly.'

'See! I told you my dad is a boxer!'

'Well my anchor is bigger than your anchor!'

'I still have all my own teeth but my head is false.'

Mothers. . . have no shame.

"You're so good-looking and noble and strong! I can't believe how you fought off that shark!"

'I'm telling you it was this big!' - Anglers Wives

Liar's Club fish

"Tonight: date with an angel: gonna meet her at seven: be on my way to heaven. Get the picture, Bob?"

'It always amazes me how after a long summer break...with sea, sand, margaritas on the beach and an absence of the cut and thrust of the office...'

With Hunting Season comes Storytelling Season.

"Have you ever thought about climbing the highest mountain?"

'That's nothing - I once nibbled a toe that was THIS big...'

I only whale for the sport of it.

Woman winding wool on husbands outstretched arms.

"...and that one is a button for my coat."

'At Hyperbole Club'.