Blurb Creator Gifts

'How's your newest new book comin'.'

John Ixon: Ran Out of Survival Tips.

'Sire, the peasants say you're just using them.'

'... and make it look like an accident.'

Will Self deprecation

"Listen, kid - in the real world, great power comes with no responsibility whatsoever."

Hollywood Think Tank

"I love the way it blurs the boundary between inside and out."

"'Kchow! Kchow! The roscoe spoke twice, and Mike dodged behind a-' Hang on, wrong book."

"I'll recommend your book if you recommend mine."

"My jacket blurbs used to have such conviction, he thought to himself wistfully."

"Quick - make something up, I've got a space to fill."

"There's nothing much happening tonight... so I'm going to just talk about myself!"

'I have a case of...oh, heck. What's that called?'

"I feel a term in congress generating headlines is a good practice for a future as a highly paid media provocateur."

'He's just come back from a 'stress management' course.'

'You're going to meet a tall dark stranger.'

"If they say 'Rubensesque' in their profile, they mean they're a Botero."

'What do you mean the men are unhappy! What on earth gives you that idea?'

"Baldo, it's great that you want to draw editorial cartoons for the school paper. But effective cartoons comment on important issues. They are not a forum for your personal agenda."

"Have you any thoughts on the matter?"

'Dammit, Bubbles, we need this memoir yesterday - write, damn you!'

This is the part I hate - removing the hook.

'I'm your new editor and not only is this cartoon the funniest one ever made, but it also discovered the cure for cancer and exposes a new,safe and free energy source and it's brought an end to religious wars and that turns me on and I use...'

My youthful jacket blurb writing showed such excitement, he thought with a sigh.

"Maybe nobody goes to your Web site because it's about you."

'Britishness Test.'

"Genesis" "*The King Gus Version"

John Bolton

"It took me 4 years to finish my book!"

"What a great class. I got an 'A' in forwarding e-mail jokes."

'My mom said someday I'll grow up and go to college!' 'My mom can burp the alphabet. She learned how in college!'