Bluesy Investor T-Shirts

'Ah got them, 'missed-,mah-margin-crawl when the city defaulted on mah tax-free-municipal-bonds-blues'.'

'We've financed three more startups for no fathomable reason.'

"I'm from brokers without borders. Invest in deserted island reits!"

Chicken - "The Dow is falling...the dow is falling..."

"We've decided to diversify our funds on some candy!"

"I'd like these invested in an aggressive mutual fund."

"Okay, it if makes you feel better...yes, I have stock in a banana company."

"Forget the allowance. I'm getting more than I need from venture capital."

Investment advice from father to son:"Learn to walk and then learn to invest. I'm depending on you to look after me when I grow old."

"The first thing we should do is get you two into a good mutual fund. Let me get out the 'Magic 8 Ball' and we'll fun some options."

"We have a new line of designer hedge funds...the Topiary Group."

Animal worries.

'That's Renfrew -- he's in charge of high-risk portfolios.'

Artist Painting Dollar.

The last of the Mom and Pop brokerage houses

I have a dream.

Investments: We have locally grown stocks.

Locally Grown Stocks, Farm Fresh CDs, Free Range Annuities.

"You should consider buying."

"Don't put your money into stocks. Bury it!"

'...but the good new is your old Enron stock has become a high-priced collectible!'

Garage Sale: Assorted shares of stocks.

'How do I know if it's seaworthy?'

'Finzter, our newest investment adviser, believes that money can make you happy.'

'Consumer confidence is up.. in the 'Money in the mattress' sector.'

'Look on the bright side - Our investments with Bernie Madoff must REALLY be paying off by now!'

'How to make money in the stock market.'

Stock Market Psychology: 'Buy with the leftside of your brain, sell with the rightside!'

'How come you always get to be Warren Buffett and I have to be George Soros?'

'One look at you and I thought 'footsie world stock fund.''

'Impressive credentials - BA Columbia, MBA Harvard, stints as CFO and CEO at three major corporations - and what's this about being a bluesman?'

'I'm doomed anyway, so I may as well make the most of it...'

"In my family we're forbidden from mentioning my uncle...he made his money with cat food stocks!"

Low-Rent Stockholders

'See if our technical people can get this up and running.'