Bloodsports Gifts

'Bill gets so irritable when he can't go hunting that I prefer to keep him heavily sedated until deer season comes around!'

'Can I see your license,please?'

"Mom said grandpa killed it so his penis would feel bigger."

It is important to give your dog opportunities to play with people.

"Good game."

'Reading, writing and arithmetic are important, son. Someday you might sign autographs for money.'

"In high school, I was quite the star in metal shop."

Scottish Football Fan - "...and please Lord, let the result be against the run of play."

'I'm glad you guys could work this out in a reasonable manner.'

I like the Jets...I guess

"Those aren't coconuts, they're tennis balls." "Sweet mother of Novak Djokovic!" The island of lost tennis balls.

Football Fans

'I'll make my final decision on that promotion of yours, after this game.'

'Joe took the day off to go to the ball game. So I'll be sitting in for him until he gets back. Would you like me to fetch you something?'

'I've had some baby sized clubs made.'

"Break his third chakra!" "Knock the dharma out of him!"

"Just another 50 decibels on your grunt and we can start to think about letting you hit a few balls!"

'My feet are killing me.'

New and improved! BunkerBuster! Get out of the sand trap every single time - or your money back!!

A small snooker player chalking his cue.

Coach to football players: 'And no cuddling!'

"Portrait of a Lady"

Tennis fans queuing at Wimbledon.

Life with a professional baseball catcher.

Rage.

'Wow, the field really is a frozen tundra!'

Holiday time.

The MBA Draft

Mr. Metamorphosis: "At least this better than waking up as a cockroach."

Church for sports worshipers.

Golfing Boss

'The following program is intended for beer bellied, sports crazed, couch potatoes!'

"Still, diving for it would look good on my college application.