Bloodsports Gifts

'Bill gets so irritable when he can't go hunting that I prefer to keep him heavily sedated until deer season comes around!'

'Can I see your license,please?'

"Mom said grandpa killed it so his penis would feel bigger."

Monster Baseball. The team's continuing to have some problems this season. Jekyll is good one day and bad the next. Dracula only shows up for night games. The Mummy is always covered in bandages and on the injured list. And King Kong can't keep his mind on the game --- Whenever he sees a pretty woman, he climbs up into the stands after her! At least Frankenstein has been pitching great again, just like when he was young! Yeah, he has a completely new arm!

It is important to give your dog opportunities to play with people.

"Good game."

'Reading, writing and arithmetic are important, son. Someday you might sign autographs for money.'

"In high school, I was quite the star in metal shop."

Scottish Football Fan - "...and please Lord, let the result be against the run of play."

'I'm glad you guys could work this out in a reasonable manner.'

I like the Jets...I guess

"Those aren't coconuts, they're tennis balls." "Sweet mother of Novak Djokovic!" The island of lost tennis balls.

'Wow! That was some world series, Ella! Both Pujols and Holland were just amazing...'

Football Fans

'I'll make my final decision on that promotion of yours, after this game.'

'You wanna play another round?' 'Sure....tender, another round!'

'Joe took the day off to go to the ball game. So I'll be sitting in for him until he gets back. Would you like me to fetch you something?'

"Just another 50 decibels on your grunt and we can start to think about letting you hit a few balls!"

'I've had some baby sized clubs made.'

"Break his third chakra!" "Knock the dharma out of him!"

'My feet are killing me.'

Coach to football players: 'And no cuddling!'

A small snooker player chalking his cue.

New and improved! BunkerBuster! Get out of the sand trap every single time - or your money back!!

'Wow, the field really is a frozen tundra!'

Life with a professional baseball catcher.

Open mike night presents Sadie Cohen. Summer's almost over

"Portrait of a Lady"

Church for sports worshipers.

Bowled over again!

Mr. Metamorphosis: "At least this better than waking up as a cockroach."

Golfing Boss

Tennis fans queuing at Wimbledon.

The MBA Draft

Holiday time.