Blood Sport Enthusiast T-Shirts

'The next time you get captured by rabbits, you can pay your own ransom!'

'No, I don't think your disguise will attract deer. To be honest, you look like an idiot.'

'I'll make my final decision on that promotion of yours, after this game.'

"Still, diving for it would look good on my college application.

'What distance! Pity it wasn't the hammer!'

'Another expectant father looking forward to paternity leave.'

'Look around, son. See if there's one you like. But remember: These are abandoned players, unwanted by their teams - so they might come with some psychological baggage.'

'I'm not abandoned. I'm a free agent.'

"Lordy, I am such a klutz!"

'Originally he was the mascot until we discovered he had a golden foot.'

"Lautrec or Gary? Hmmm... We'll take Gary."

If nobody had invented graphics

Football Chameleon

"How should we divide the teams?"

A married couple share the same pole vault.

Bobby's pitching coach told him to put some stank on the ball.

'We need you to get onto those high balls coming over'

"I always forget what an expert I am in curling."

Race track - with the race being to apply the white lines between lanes

Ratminton

"Let's get ready to bumble!"

"You'll have to help out here more. I pulled a hammy jumping over the moon."

'Yes! The momentum's going to shift now. Our home fan is starting to make some noise!'

Saving a Heart

Gary turns 40.

A day at the transgenic races

"Good news...I found a doctor who says you can still play!"

The best PE teacher in the World.

"I'm less a role model than a cautionary tale."