Blind Date Humorist Mugs

"...and someone with no fleas. Anything else?"

'Let's go to your place. I cook, I clean and then we can have a meaningful shag.'

"Alone bad. Boyfriend good!"

"I'd love to go out with you. Do I have to have time to change."

"Wow! This was sure one heck of a blind date!"

'You and Phil make a great couple. You're perfect for each other!'

'He's narrating it, I just know it.'

'May I recommend a dry white with the seafood dish.'

"Don't panic, she'll be back. We lock the washroom windows from the outside."

"A high forhead can often be a sign that they've stolen a really big brain."

"On the internet nobody knows you're a dog, but in person..."

"Do you have anything that would make him seem like a self satisfied pig?"

"You're not at all like your answering machine."

'I don't believe in blind dates... the last time I got fixed up I got neutered.'

A Tree Grows In . . . Wherever.

"To be honest, I'm a little surprised the dating service matched us up."

"I guess I misunderstood when you said you were a 'fan dancer.'"

"We're not a couple. He's just my ride."

"He's such a gentleman, he didn't use a 'mating call' to attract me: he's developed a 'please join me on a date' call..."

"I've always been attracted to small architectural details."

Body language interpreters - "He likes you and wishes to dance with you." "That's a get lost."

Dan, Carla's interests include brooding over failed relationships and fending off her mother's pleas for grandchildren. Carla, Dan is terrified of commitment and has a negative bank balance."

Are you sure that's not your age?

"I'm sure my parents will love you, but for the time being, let's not mention that you're genetically modified."

"So tell me again where you're from."

'Aunt Val's pretty cool. . . Kind of hot actually. . . for an older lady.'

"...Now they're playing tape number 7710K. It starts with Johnny Mathis hits arranged for strings and woodwind, then goes on to Mister Henry Mancini. After that..."

'I seem to be very conservative but secretly, I'm a rebel - I don't wear pants.'

"Smile! It's for the women I've dated scrapbook!"

Despite wanting to date a man who was 'young at heart', Beryl couldn't help but feel a little disappointed with her blind date.

Sure he's a zombie, but hey, it's nice to finally meet someone who is more interested in my brains than my body.