Blimp Admirers Pillows

A blimp falls in love with a fat man.

Pregnant lady being greeted by foetus.

1847 - Bram Stoker, creator of Dracula was born in Dublin.

"It's true: no more burpees."

Generic Store: Sign in Window

Hot Tub Frosty

'What? You used a Welshman? The recipe specifically calls for a scot!'

Hombre's Best Friend.

"Those MORONS! I have way more chest hair than THAT! Ha!"

'You did remember the condoms didn't you?'

"I have no feelings about having no feelings."

A mermaid is on a rock at the sea: A mermaid falls in lover with her upper half and a shark falls in lover with her lower half.

Swan in a trenchcoat.

"I'm so looking forward to the weekend, there's a show on: We're going to be pampered and they'll put lovely ribbons in our manes..."

A small man under a giant microscope.

"Returns"

Medieval King

'Catch a pair of chimps and do a complete makeover on them.'

Vodka

Woman with blouse zipped up to varying degrees. Arrows read, 'single,' 'married, 'happily married.'

"I enjoy cooking my pets and my family."

"Quit saying 'President Trump'. You're spookin' the horses."

Stop and Smell the Roses

"Your friend isn't in here, he's letting me AirBnB his shell."

'Hey! - Do these make me the Aleph-male?'

Newton - today: 'Help my research! Buy an apple 50 cents.'

God has chose me to talk to you about superannuation

Moonbillies.

"He was famed for his work in Pantomime"

'This must be your son - I can see the resemblance.'

'This? It's carry-on luggage in that it carries ME on and I can fit in the overhead bin.'

"You guys really crack me up."