Blimp Admirers Pillows

A blimp falls in love with a fat man.

Pregnant lady being greeted by foetus.

1847 - Bram Stoker, creator of Dracula was born in Dublin.

"It's true: no more burpees."

Generic Store: Sign in Window

Hot Tub Frosty

'What? You used a Welshman? The recipe specifically calls for a scot!'

Hombre's Best Friend.

"Those MORONS! I have way more chest hair than THAT! Ha!"

'You did remember the condoms didn't you?'

A mermaid is on a rock at the sea: A mermaid falls in lover with her upper half and a shark falls in lover with her lower half.

Happy Birthday Magicians of America

"I'm so looking forward to the weekend, there's a show on: We're going to be pampered and they'll put lovely ribbons in our manes..."

Swan in a trenchcoat.

"I have no feelings about having no feelings."

A small man under a giant microscope.

'I hate surprises!'

"Returns"

'Catch a pair of chimps and do a complete makeover on them.'

Medieval King

Vodka

Woman with blouse zipped up to varying degrees. Arrows read, 'single,' 'married, 'happily married.'

"Quit saying 'President Trump'. You're spookin' the horses."

"Sorry I'm late. I took the stairs."

"I told him. . . 'Norman, forget that woman! She's no good for you! I need you to run the Bates Motel! Norman! Are you listening to your mother?'"

"Your friend isn't in here, he's letting me AirBnB his shell."

Stop and Smell the Roses

"I enjoy cooking my pets and my family."

'Hey! - Do these make me the Aleph-male?'

Newton - today: 'Help my research! Buy an apple 50 cents.'

God has chose me to talk to you about superannuation

"He was famed for his work in Pantomime"

Moonbillies.

'This must be your son - I can see the resemblance.'

"You guys really crack me up."